2008. 8. 03 Rev. Kim, Young Bong

John's Gospel 'Words of Life' (104)
To See If These Things Were So
-- John 20:24-29, Acts 17:10-12

1.

In the summer of 2002, I attended KOSTA, an annual retreat for Korean students in the U.S., to lead a seminar. I met one of my former students whom I taught a long time ago at KOSTA. The student who served as a small group leader at KOSTA asked me to have a conversation with his small group members. So, I sat down with his group members after the evening service in the dormitory lounge on the third day of the retreat.

After people felt a bit comfortable, they started to ask questions that they held deep in their hearts. In the beginning they cautiously brought out questions that were not so serious, but they soon asked more serious ones. I tried not to defend myself as a pastor, nor tried to give the right answers, but rather tried to handle their questions as a seeker who is questioning and struggling just like they were. For those questions I did not have an answer, I told them so. For those questions that I could answer, I tried to explain in the most reasonable way. I also asked them for their opinions. As the conversation continued, it became very late.

When the small group leader said, “Let’s call it a day otherwise we will be too tired for tomorrow’s programs,” they seemed very disappointed. As they were leaving to return to their rooms, one woman in the group sat in the couch and let out a deep sigh. She looked so serious and her remarks were so impressive that I could still remember exactly what she said. “Why can’t we discuss these questions at church and why can other pastors not do like you do? I feel like all my old questions are answered.”

Not only her remarks but her impression left an imprint on my heart. Even after a few years had passed, her remarks etched in my mind and I could still remember her. It was also because I felt so sorry for the spirituality of Korean churches which are repressive and force on the blind faith. I also experienced that faith can’t grow nor mature in such an environment.

2.

Six month after I was appointed as the KUMC pastor, I met a woman holding a baby after Sunday service who greeted me with a smile. I at once recognized that she was the same woman that I had met at KOSTA in 2002. I learned that she had finished her studies, found a job and moved near DC. She happened to visit our church and remembered our meeting three years ago and greeted me. Since then, she has come to our church.

Let’s hear the testimony of Ms. Chang, Soo-eun. We have prepared it in video.
(translation that follows was provided by Ms. Chang, and was shortened to match the video).

Since I was little I went to church with my parents. The church I grew up in tended to emphasize unquestioning faith, rather than an inquisitive and examining faith. Though I would always listen and accept what the pastor had to say with an obedient mind, I always felt there was something missing. For instance, whenever non-Christian friends challenged my faith, I could not come up with persuasive answers that could convince not only them but also myself. Because of this, whenever I was challenged I would be badly shaken. This was because I was not trained to think and analyze about my faith and about God on my own. Even in the church I felt that there was no acknowledgment of need for this kind of training, and there was no atmosphere in the church that encouraged an introspective faith.

I was in this state of lukewarm faith all along until I came to participate in KOSTA, a retreat for Korean students studying abroad. There I was in a small group comprised of other women, one of which was the leader who attended a seminary.

She proposed that we have a discussion with a past professor of hers, and so our small group members all agreed. Frankly though I did not have much expectations about this meeting. According to past experience I had not met any pastor who would straightforwardly answer, or even take the time to listen carefully to the difficult questions I had on faith. Most of the time, pastors would treat my questions as a challenge, and would be very defensive in their answers. Because of this, and because I did not want to make any pastor uncomfortable, it had been long since I had brought up anything serious with pastors. I had long been in the attitude of ‘I will believe unquestioningly’ and listen silently even though sometimes I would at times have some questions.

Our group met with the pastor after having dinner. Frankly I do not remember what topics we covered that evening. What I do remember however is that, because the question-and- answer interactions were so stimulating, we were at this for more than 6 hours, past 2 in the morning. When we had to part because it was getting too late, I could not help but feel a bit disappointed. If it were up to me, I wanted to spend more time, perhaps for a week, with this pastor to discuss many other matters. This pastor really listened to us, and very patiently and generously provided his answers.

The reason his answers seemed satisfactory to me was not necessarily because he was giving all the correct answers. In contrast, I felt this way because he was answering our questions based on his own experience of investigating, questioning and struggling to understand. I felt that in front of him, whatever question we ask would never be responded with “you have no faith!” The questions I had were not because I did not want to believe, but rather because I wanted to believe better but could not understand. Because of this the conversation we had with this pastor felt like it was relieving a long-suffered indigestion. So I spoke to this pastor in my characteristic direct way: “Why can’t other pastors do as you do? I feel at last free from my frustrations!”

Being in KOSTA that year was for many reasons unforgettable, and the conversation we had with this pastor was especially etched in my mind. And I thought to myself, how wonderful it would be to attend the church this pastor serves.

After graduate school I took a job and moved to the Washington DC area. I was in the midst of trying to find a church, and by a strange coincidence I came to visit our church. I did not know anybody in this church at the time.

When it was time for the sermon, I saw the pastor come up to the rostrum. At that moment I could not believe my eyes, to my husband who was sitting beside me, I shouted, “I know that pastor! This is the pastor I met at KOSTA!” Later on I found out that pastor Kim had moved to this church 6 months ago. This is the story of how became a member of our church.

3.

After I asked Ms. Chang for her testimony, I worried that her testimony might sound like an advertisement for myself. However, I thought that many people might share her experience and take heart from her testimony. I truly thank Ms. Chang who was willing to accept my request.

Dear Congregation, how about you? When you have questions about God, Jesus, the Bible and Christian doctrines, how do you solve them? When you share questions at church, how did the pastors and church members react to your questions? What is unfortunate is that it is very difficult to find a church where such questions could be discussed. It is a wrong belief in the church that it is “good faith” to believe without questions. A myth that is widely spread is to question is to fall in temptation and be tempted by Satan.

With this kind of environment prevailing, most people believe that without thinking, criticizing, and questioning. They don’t want to know about what they believe. They think smartly in the world, but not at church. They do reasoning in the world and stop reasoning in the matter of faith. Without thinking and questioning, they shout “Amen.” It becomes habitual, they shout Amen everywhere.

We rarely hear Amen during our service. It might depend on each service, but generally speaking, our church congregation does not reply with Amen as some people have even criticized our church as being “too cold”. Others really don’t like people to say Amen in public. It is not a matter of right or wrong, but it is a difference. Some like to reply with Amen and others like to comply in silence. Some even nod their head only after deeply thinking about the sermon. Maybe there are some people who didn’t show any response during the service, but say Amen at home when they contemplate the message at home.

I personally have some resistance to saying Amen at every sentence during the sermon. I was once invited to a church where church members were well trained to say Amen. When I finished the first sentence, all the church members shouted Amen, I felt lost and didn’t know what to say next. It was difficult for me to continue the sermon as it was like being in a cult religious gathering. It was difficult to struggle with hearing Amen at the end of each sentence during a one hour of sermon. It wasn’t normal. This is how to raise blind believers. What we really need is to listen to the sermon and to come to understand in our hearts and shout Amen from the bottom of our hearts. I am not a person who says amen all the time. But, when I really agree with the message, I don’t resist it, but say Amen. Say Amen when you really feel like it; it is a good habit.

4.

John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist church, said that there are four pillars of faith. One of the pillars stands in the middle and the three other pillars circle around it. The pillar in the middle is the Bible. The three other pillars are to help us to understand the Bible and to apply the message to our daily life. The first is experience; the second is tradition, and the third is reason. Reason is the pillar to support faith. It was a revolutionary remark for those who consider reason as the enemy of faith.

John Wesley once said this about reasoning, “Don’t think it is God’s will to disregard or undervalue reason. If you intentionally disregard reason, you will realize that how useful reasoning led by the Holy Spirit is to build the foundation of faith and to make progress in faith.” It is such an awkward remark for Korean churches that teach us to believe without questions and that reason is the enemy of faith.
He also warned about overvaluing reasoning. He warned that we should not take what reason can do as absolute truth. I would like to quote from his sermon. “Let reason do what it can do. Use reason within its limit. You should recognize, however, that reason cannot produce faith, hope and the love of God. Reason cannot produce true virtue nor happiness. So, seek and receive virtue and happiness from the ultimate source, the Heavenly Father.”

What we believe is not reason but the truth revealed through Jesus Christ. Our reason is not bigger than the revealed truth. In contrary, the truth revealed through Jesus is greater than our reason. Our reason can not hold the truth, therefore, reason is not the absolute standard. What we absolutely believe is God’s word. Our reason is a very useful tool to understand God’s word and apply God’s word to our lives. As we use our reason to ask questions, seek and answer, we can understand God’s word better and further we can put them into actions.

That is why those who really seek the truth continuously question to understand what they believe. Not just questioning, but praying and studying the Bible and reading books to solve their questions. Also, they gather with other Christian friends to study and discuss and pray. Our small groups are established to do just this work. During the process, we understand better, know more deeply, and come to translate better this into action. As we grow in our faith in this way, we can explain our faith to non-believers. In this process, reason is a very useful tool.

5.

We read John and Acts chapter 17. This was what happened when Paul and Silas went to Berea. Berea is located in Greece where a lot of Jews lived and were serious people. When Paul and Silas went to Berea and preached the gospel, the Bible says that, “For they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”

Here are a few words that we need to pay attention to. First is that “They received with great eagerness” This means that their hearts were opened widely to the truth. Secondly, “to see if what Paul said was true” They did not blindly believe. Once they received it, they made an effort to examine whether what Paul said was true. Third, “examine the Scripture every day”. They realized the importance of the truth that they received. They realized that if what they received is the truth, they should put their life in the faith. So, they studied the Bible everyday. Though it was not written in the Bible, I bet that they prayed everyday too. Since they were devout Jews. They might have questioned and answered while reasoning at the same time, and have prayed for God’s revelation.

So what happened? Verse 12 says that, “many of the Jews believed.” As result of questioning and seeking the truth while studying the Bible and praying, many came to believe. Of course, it might take a long time, but their questions and search led them to a solid faith. As they believed in such a way, they could explain to non-believers how they came to believe.

The latter part of verse 12 says that “as did also a number of prominent Greek women and many Greek men.” It is not clear whether the Greek joined the Jews studying and discussing the Bible, or they were influenced by the Jews and became Christian. I think the latter is more likely right. Jews in Berea who came to believe the gospel through numerous questions, examinations, and discussions evangelized to the Greeks.

Last Sunday, I talked about Thomas and the heart of a true seeker. I emphasized that we need to aspire for a firmer faith and need to discern what we can believe and what we can not believe. We should appreciate what we can believe and need to question and study and pray to believe what we cannot as a true seeker. If we can continue to purse the faith with a heart of a true seeker, not only can I become firmer in the faith, but I can also explain my faith to non-believers.

Jews in Berea in Acts 17 also had the heart of a seeker. They were enthusiastic about learning the truth of salvation. When they felt a tug in their hearts, they tried their best to find out whether it was true. When they found out that it was, they devoted their lives to their faith. They also were very eager to preach the gospel to non-believers.

6.

Looking back at this issue, I think that the major problem in our faith is that we lack the heart of a seeker. That is why many people believe for a long time, but did not experience spiritual growth; that is why we listen numerous sermons and study the Bible, but still lack the foundation of faith; that is why our faith fluctuates with our emotions; that is why we are so prone to cult messages even though we attend church for more than a decade; that is why we continue to look for greater grace when we already have received the grace; that is why we seem devout Christians at church, but not in the world; that is why we can not say a word to non-believers even though we are considered as “good” Christians.

Because of our tendency towards blind faith- blindly believing without questioning, blindly believing without criticism, saying Amen to any message without thinking, believing without studying the Bible to “see if it is true”, believing that by good luck from the heaven, we will be able to believe, believing emotionally without reasoning. Because of these reasons, I think that our faith is weak and that we do not have the power to evangelize to non-believers, the holy power of the truth disappears from the church.

I think that it is most crucial to restore the heart of a seeker among us in order to put our faith on solid foundation; to have “persuasive” faith in order to lead non-believers; for our church to be the temple of truth, for Christians and the church to fulfill their role as salt and light in the world. So, I pray that the spirit of true seekers, as the Bereans had, will be placed upon us. I pray that we have a deep fellowship with God in our souls and question and study in our minds, and diligently serve and sacrifice in our body so that we may all achieve the truthful and perfect faith.

Lord of the truth,
Please pour the spirit of truth which was with Jesus onto us.
Help me aspire and live to experience you more intimately,
To understand more deeply the truth of the gospel,
To know the Lord’s message more clearly,

Amen