2008. 2. 24 Rev. Kim, Young Bong

Smell of Charcoal Fire and Rooster’s Crow
--John 18:12-27

1.

Peter is well known for being the best pupil of Jesus. He along with Paul played a very important role in the early Christian church. Peter was revered as the first Catholic Pope, so when there is a talk of heaven, Peter is portrayed as the gatekeeper. As such Peter is an important figure in Christianity.

But looking at the four books of Gospel that record the story of Jesus, Peter does not stand out as much. He was a fisherman from Galilee, and in the society of the time being a fisherman was not a noteworthy profession. Even at the time, if one had an inkling of ambition and smarts, then those of youth would have migrated to a large population center to struggle for success. Thus for Peter who was born to live as a fisherman like his ancestors before him, he was yet another among other folks.

And to Peter who led his normal life one day at a time, Jesus appeared to call on him. As Jesus pierces the person inside, perhaps he saw the person within Peter that no one else can see. It is also difficult to gage for what reason Peter followed the calling of Jesus. Perhaps in his meager life of a fisherman he too had a great desire to overturn the Roman rule to reestablish the former glory of Israel. Or perhaps he had an ardent devotion for God, and a desire to lay everything down in order to serve for the kingdom of God. In any event, when Jesus called on him, "Come and follow me. I shall make you a fisherman of men," he left all things behind and followed Him. As such was his introduction to the discipleship of Jesus.

As a disciple of Jesus, Peter does not get rated very well. Let us rate Peter as we recall our readings from the four books of Gospels. Probably, there are quite a few people who may be tempted to give him an unsatisfactory rating. No matter how generous one may be, it would be difficult to give him more than 70 points. Although he had a good heart and was hard trying, always there was something lacking. He means well, but always misses the mark. He struggles to be a good disciple in front of Jesus, but things do not turn out as intended. From the moment he was called to being a disciple to receiving the call to the house of the high priest, Peter always left those who think of him rather bewildered.

2.

The moment of pity for Peter occurs in the reading towards the climax of the story. At the Kidron valley he drew his sword against the Roman guards and the temple hands that were out to apprehend Jesus. While other disciples were all quaking in sheer fright, Peter courageously stood up to fight. Just looking at this, he did seem to deserve to be called the best pupil. But Jesus seemed to chastise him. Instead of assuring him, He scolds him. Although this would not have been the first scolding for Peter, Jesus’ response probably was quite a disappointment. But be it as it may, Jesus appeared adamant about it, so Peter and other disciples had no choice but to follow the wishes of Jesus. They each found a way to disappear into the darkness.

As the soldiers seized Jesus to take him somewhere, Peter and another disciple secretly followed them. Other disciples cannot muster enough courage to even do that. Perhaps the disciple who was with Peter was John who wrote the Gospel according to John. The soldiers took bound Jesus to Annas. Although Caiaphas was the high priest at the time, Annas was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, and a former high priest. He was not the high priest at the time, but was still influential next to his son-in-law. The Hebrews felt that before they turn Jesus over to Pilate, they needed to have a little meeting.

Peter and John followed all the way to the high priest's residence. Because John was a good acquaintance of the high priest, he had no worries. But Peter was different. There was no one of any connection to him within the high priest's residence. But, he could not leave alone Jesus just like that. He himself could have risked capture to suffer the indignity, but still he could not run away. That was Peter. Although he was not the most astute and regularly fumbled his way, his heart was always with Jesus and cherished Him with love. Before the table of the last supper, Peter said to Jesus, "I will lay down my life for the Lord" (13:37), and he said it with a sincere heart.

He did not have a definite aim in mind. Jesus was already delivered in the hands of the enemies, and compared to Roman soldiers, he himself was nothing big but a mere individual. Although he could not do anything, Peter followed Jesus to His place of trial. It was because of love. Because of his love for the teacher, despite the dangers, he followed to the place. Peter seemed to have had a bigger heart than his reason. If he reasoned it out in his mind, then he would not have gone there. It was an unwise choice. But he lived with his heart. He truly had in him the love strong enough to lay down his life for.

3.

John first enters into the high priest's courtyard, meets someone, and speaks to a girl on duty there. And he fetches Peter who stands outside at the door. The girl on duty finds something suspicious in Peter as she looks on. Peter senses the girl’s fixed attention and urges his footsteps to gain distance away from her. And, with Peter’s back turned, she asks, “You are not one of his disciples, are you?" Peter heart sinks instantly. He unknowingly blurts out a totally unexpected answer. "No. I do not know the person." And he retreats himself into the darkness.

Peter fears that there may be some who may recognize him, so he keeps distance and observes things from afar. From afar, where the people were gathered, Annas was seen questioning Jesus trying to find out the names of his followers. In addition, Jesus is ordered to confess as to what it was that He taught. It was to uncover crucial clues for the charges to come before Pilate. Jesus sternly replies without a reservation. “I have spoken openly to the world. I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said” (verses 20-21).

That attitude is too forthright, and to those who kept watch it was insolence. One of the attendants nearby strikes Jesus in the face, and scolds Him as such, "Is this the way you answer the high priest?" And so Jesus answers this way. “If I said something wrong, testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?" (Verse 23) Although Jesus stood in the courtyard of the high priest's residence as a defendant, but his tone was not that of a defendant but rather that of a judge. There was no sense of fear, and no sense of tribulation. As was in the Kidron valley, the attitude Jesus displayed turned the table around. On the surface Jesus was the defendant and Annas was the Judge, in truth Jesus appeared as the judge and Annas the defendant.

At about the same time, someone who was warming himself with Peter was for sometime intently eyeing Peter. Peter feels his uncomfortable glances, but to avoid attracting more attention, he pretends to be anonymous and keeps his place. But he finally says this to Peter. "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" Peter was in the midst of calming himself after having earlier blurted a denial to the girl at the door. He must have been nursing his conscience with the thought 'I should not commit such a breach again! If necessary, I should reveal who I am, that I may suffer the same persecution in righteousness as Jesus.' But as the stranger startles him with his accusation, that courage suddenly disappears, and unknowingly words leap right out of his mouth. "No! I am not! "

Then another man was standing next to him seemingly recognizing his face also, joins in the accusation with these words, "I did see you with him in the olive grove, are you still denying it?" (Verse 27) He was a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off. Peter having felt the danger of being challenged, once again strongly denies it, and hurriedly flees to safety. He flees out the door to disappear from everyone’s sight. At that moment one can hear the rooster’s crow. When the sound of the crow is heard he remembers the words of Jesus spoken just a few hours ago during the last supper. "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!"(13:38) As he remembers those words, he falls to mourn.

4.

Let’s stop here for a moment and think about this. After unthinkingly denying Jesus no less than three times at the residence of the high priest on that day and tumbling down weeping at the early morning crow of a rooster, imagine what kind of impact it would have on Peter’s mind every time he stood in front of a fire of charcoals, or every time he heard the crow of a rooster. Once you experience something special in association with a certain object or a certain sound, whenever you see that object or hear that sound, your mind runs back to the past and brings back the memory of that experience once again.

We do not have a chance to hear this song often nowadays, but one of the popular Korean songs in the 1980’s was ‘Round and Round.’ It goes like this in repetition, over and over, “Oh, what am I supposed to do, our relationship goes round and round….” When I was in Korea, whenever I heard that song on the bus or in a taxi, my mind would run back to the times when I was on sentry duty at the iron fences of the DMZ on a cold winter night. In the DMZ, the North broadcasts towards the South and the South in turn broadcasts towards the North. It is a kind of psychological warfare. I worked there for a while during my platoon leader training. At that time, the South played that song towards the North every night, all night long. Was it because the song was popular at that time, or did the South want North Korean soldiers to go round and round after listening to the song? I have no idea. At any rate, since I listened to this song so many times while guarding the DMZ fences, fighting off the cold, even after I was discharged from the army, whenever I listened to the song, my mind would go back to that time and that place.

You too must have such an object, such a sound, or such a place. I mean, because of a special experience related to it, the moment you see or listen to it, you experience that -- your mind goes back to the particular point in the past and a particular incident. Given this, after Peter’s miserable failure at the high priest’s residence, we can more than assume how the charcoal fire and the sound of rooster’s crow had an impact on him. He probably found himself back at the high priest’s residence, without realizing it, whenever he tried to warm himself at the bonfire on a dark night. He was probably also reminded of himself, fallen and crying outside of the high priest’s residence, every time he heard the sound of a rooster waking the morning.

Who of us is to blame Peter? What all of us want is to become like Jesus when he is testifying in front of Annas. We too want to be a testimony to the truth and take action for the sake of justice like Jesus Christ, even at a risk to our lives. When we see people who take action with such courage, we admire them and worship them. Because we know what a precious life it is. We also have a desire to live like that. It is not that we do not have the passion to give our life to Jesus the Lord and devote our whole life for the sake of God’s kingdom. It is not that we do not have the passion, innocent and holy, to devote our whole life for the sake of our church or our neighbor. So, we sometimes pray that we will do it -- or boast that we will.

However, we too are a fragile vessel like Peter was. We want to deny it, but it is an obvious fact. How wonderful it would be if we could give a commanding testimony, like Jesus did at the witness stand, as if he were the judge? We truly want to live like that. Nevertheless, we are closer to Peter, not Jesus. While our mind is full of holy, innocent, and beautiful wishes, we are fragile beings who cannot fully achieve any of those wishes. Peter, who boasted that he would give his life to Jesus, but who found himself lost at the question of a mere servant girl, is not so unfamiliar to us.

All the disciples of Jesus, except for John, scattered their ways for fear of their lives. Compared to them, Peter’s deed was marvelous. He deserved to be called Jesus’ best disciple. Yet, he stopped right there. What he could do with his human courage and willpower was get to the high priest’s residence. The other disciples did not even have that much courage or willpower. However, overcoming the fear of death was not something he could do with his human courage. Disclosing his identify at the risk of his life and giving a truthful testimony were hard things to do with only a human capability. Peter, who was depending on only human courage and willpower, failed at that point.

However, we know that. We know that when the resurrected Jesus came to Peter forgave his sin, recovered him, and when His Holy Spirit came to govern his mind, Peter gave a testimony of truth just like Jesus did, with boldness and without hesitation. According to the records of Acts, Peter testified with dignity at the witness stand, as if he were the judge. To him, death was no longer an object of fear. To him, the only fear was to be separated from Jesus Christ. Thus, he held on tight on Jesus Christ. And he testified the gospel with His power, against all odds. Legend says that, in the end, Peter was killed on a cross, like Jesus Christ. And it is said that he asked the executers who were to kill him, “I cannot die on the cross in the same manner as my Lord Jesus did. Please hang me upside down on the cross.”

5.

What turned Peter around like this? Isn’t the Power of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ always with him? How could Peter lead his life captivated by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ everyday? I guess it is because Peter always remembered the smell of charcoal fire and rooster’s crow. Whenever he remembers the charcoal smell and rooster’s crow, he probably would admit humbly his frailty. Whenever he remembers them, probably he would admit the fact that he could relapse miserably again any time without the Holy Spirit of Jesus. Not only that. What could have been the reason that Peter was able to hold onto himself despite the overwhelming Power of the Holy Spirit exuding from himself? Could it be because everyday the haunting of the bonfire covered him in the Holy Spirit, and the shrill of the rooster’s cries woke his soul daily? Otherwise, how could he have unfailingly followed [God] until his last breath?

Recently, the Christian church was ridiculed once again by a broadcasted denunciatory program of a TV station in Korea, titled as “After news.” The program allegedly exposed the private personal lives of three pastors well renowned among the Korean churches with good reputations as the most successful pastors in carrying the pastoral duties. Dear believers, you know well the character of broadcast, don’t you? We cannot deny that they are more interested in sensationalizing for the audience, rather than broadcasting the true fact.

And also, without accuracy, broadcasts frequently inform biased news, and they more often manipulate news skillfully. Hence, we can’t believe everything what we hear and what we see from the broadcasting. However, it seems that many people get a shock from the sensationalism of the program.

I am not brave to blame them as a like pastor. I am only reticent with concern. What kind of people are they who were mentioned in the program? (If there is anyone who respected and loved them, please understand what I say. I do not intend to blame them but try to share the pain.) The two pastors are those who were renowned for a time as the great revivalists. Once, by their one time hand, fatal diseases were cured, evil spirits were expelled, and the door of the Heaven was widely opened. I know very well because I felt the blessing after I had attended to the revivals that they led. The other person was not a revivalist, but he was widely recognized a great preacher. When he opened a seminar for sermon, tens of thousands people would gather. I truly believe that they were once devoted servants for the Lord.

How is it now? The question apprehends me. Those who watched the program asked me, “How could that be?” Yes, they could be. They could be, ever so often, because they are just human. Even though once they were unbelievably devoted to the Lord, they can be corrupted miserably and humiliatingly in a moment, when they forget who they were originally and the moment the faith of the Lord weakens. There are endless examples. Can’t we see this often many times in a day in our thoughts and behavior, not just from others? Because of that, I am apprehensive with the report. Can I keep steady my ways like Peter did till the last moment? How can I get to keep my ways? Indeed, can I be that way?

6.

I also need the charcoal fire and rooster’s crow. We need to remember those discarded moments of abject shame in our lives, just like the experience of Peter, who while believing in Jesus, nevertheless stood at the courtyard of the high priest, not having been captivated by the power of Holy Spirit. Let’s quietly sit and reflect as to what are the charcoal fire and the rooster’s crow that serve as reminders of the abject shame of our memories. Even as we recall back, some are scenes that yet blush us as vivid as a movie scene. Even yet we have not escaped our feelings of inadequacy. At least, I’m struggling to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit and to be captivated by Him in my life. As doing this, I’m just thankful for being able to reduce the mistakes and tend to the remorse attendant such mistakes.

However, I know that I befall upon regretful moments as in the past, or befall upon even more disgraceful situation. I could experience a bitter mournful situation in the dark like Peter. My only hope is the power of the Holy Spirit. There are no other ways to prevent falling upon disgrace except through relying on His power and following His guidance. To be mindful of the Truth, we too must nightly reveal the charcoal fire in the darkness. To be mindful of the Truth, we too must lend our ears daily to the morning crow of the rooster.

I should try hard not to forget how fragile a vessel I am. When I do that, I will rely on the Holy Spirit more and more. I could avoid the deep downfall while living in the fellowship with the Holy Spirit. And, as long as I stay inside of Him, I could not boast about the works He’s done through me. It’s the dangerous time when I am away from His reach of influence. It is the dangerous time when I think that “I’m good enough”. At that moment, I could fall down severely.

I’m not the only one. So are you. Can you say “Since I’m not a pastor, I don’t need to worry about it.”? A lay believer’s downfall, of course, could have less impact than a pastor’s falling. However, the problem does not rest with how much impact the downfall has on others. It is the matter of how I live before God. Looking at this aspect, there is no difference between you as a lay believer and me as a pastor. Our hope is that we live our daily lives being captivated by the hand of the Holy Spirit. Our task is that we always live in the deep fellowship with the Holy Spirit to the end of our lives. That way, we could avoid a severe downfall, and could obtain His glory, which accomplishes His will.

To become like that, you need your charcoal fire and rooster’s crow, too. Sometime we need to remember the charcoal fire and rooster’s crow, which remind you the downfalls you had in the past because you were merely captured by the power of the Holy Spirit despite your belief in Jesus. We should remember our weakness while warming over the charcoal fire and should accept our sinful nature while listening to the rooster’s crow. When we do that, we can give ourselves to the Holy Spirit everyday over and over again. We are safe only when we stay in the Holy Spirit.

7.

These days we have dawn prayer gatherings in observance of Lent. Every dawn, we gather to pray, praise and read the gospel. What results from such gatherings? It is to hear the morning crow of the rooster, and it is to admit our frailty and sinful ways, and that we may be awash in the bonfire of the Holy Spirit for another day. About half of the gatherings have passed. To those tireless participants I hope for your resolve to continue with vigor. For those not yet having participated, I hope that you try the remaining 20 out of the 40 days. Consider the sound of the alarm clock as the rooster’s crow and come on out. Consider the candle lit in the chapel as the bonfire of your calling. As you hear and watch if they recall the recollections of remorse and shame then pray, "Lord, have mercy on my soul!"

I hope that this can become life’s habit. Regardless of whether one can be able to attend the dawn prayer sessions or not, let us every morning hear the rooster’s crow that we may remember our frailties and rely on the Holy Spirit, let us every evening stand before the bonfire and thank God who has watched over us during the day, and let them be the habits of our lives. That way let us live fully with the strength of the Holy Spirit once each day. Let us live daily as such for a week, live the weeks as such for a month, live the months as such for a year, live the years as such for a lifetime, live our lives as such till the day of eternity. As such, instead of endeavoring to avoid the falls of remorse, we endeavor and be thankful that God’s will be done through our lives. I pray that the Lord’s Grace is filled upon you. Amen.

The Lord who has overturned the seat of defendant to the seat of the judge,
Bestow unto us the strength of righteousness.
Like Lord let us stand upright
Without an obstacle let us live for the truth.
We cannot of our own strength abide
That the Lord knows.
Every morning
Let us hear the rooster’s crow.
Every evening
Illuminate unto us Thy bonfire.
Thus,
Upon the Spirit of the Lord we find refuge
In Thy guiding ways we find gladness.
Till our last breath
Let us walk this way.
Amen.