2007. 11. 25 Rev. Kim, Young Bong

Jesus Who Went to the Movie Theatre<4>
“Go to Mil-Yang”
Matthew 6:5-6

1.

Until I saw the movie ‘Mil-Yang,’ my knowledge about Mil-Yang was limited to the fact that it is located in Kyongsangnamdo province, ‘Mil-Yang Arirang’, a Korean folk song, and Pyochung Temple, an old historical Buddhist temple. To most Koreans including myself, Mil-Yang is different from other Korean cities such as Kwang-Ju, Yeo-Su, or Ma-San that are highly symbolic towns. Mil-Yang is not the kind of name that instantly evokes any particular feeling. Further, the history or tradition of Mil-Yang or its regional sentiment does not play any particular role in this movie. Those who are from Mil-Yang might have been disappointed after watching this movie. Maybe when they saw the title of this movie, they might have expected: “one or two things that our hometown is famous for…” However, the movie had no such mentioning.

If so, why do you think the director names this movie as ‘Mil-Yang’? It is because of the ‘ordinariness’ of the city and the meaning of its name ‘Mil-Yang.’ The dialogue that Shin-Ae and Jong-Chan have, as they enter Mil-Yang, and another dialogue between Jong-Chan and Shin-Ae’s younger brother around the end of the movie help us guess the reason why the director chose this title. Let us view those two separate scenes consecutively.

First scene: 5:30-6:54
Second scene: 2:09:16-2:10:00

According to the Mil-Yang native Jong-Chan, it is a place not so different from any other. It is so ordinary a place, the kind that makes him mumble that it is not so special, when asked by Shin-Ae; “What kind of place is Mil-Yang?” However, Shin-Ae feels that the name “Mil-Yang” has a special quality in its meaning. Combining the word Mil, meaning “secret,” and the word Yang, meaning "sunshine,” Mil-Yang means “secret sunshine.” It is a place which appears as plain ordinary, not much different from any other town; however it gives a premonition that it has something secretive about it. That is Mil-Yang.

I did some research on what the name “Mil-Yang” actually came from. According to a local history scholar, the name “Mil-Yang” has been evolved from “Mit-Yang,” which in turn was evolved from “Yang of Mee.” It is said that “Mee” means water and “Yang” means north. Therefore, the name “Mil-Yang” means “the north side of the water.” A river, Mil-Yang Kang, that runs through Mil-Yang is said to have been traditionally called “Nam Kang” by the locals. Thus, we can make a presumption that Mil-Yang means “a town to the north of the river.”

If this presumption is correct, it is certain that the director did not care about the traditional meaning of the name ‘Mil-Yang.’ He appears least interested in the history, the origin, the tradition, the sentiment, or anything else about Mil-Yang. He is just holding onto the fact that Mil-Yang is no different from other ordinary towns and attaches his own interpretation and meaning to the name ‘Mil-Yang.’

2.

Unfortunately, Shin-Ae’s anticipation for such sunshine is shattered mercilessly. Although she comes to Mil-Yang hoping that the sunlight will shine on her life, only the deeper darkness envelops her. Shin-Ae’s life following the loss of her son, Joon, is literally an absolute darkness. Shin-Ae, all alone at home following the loss of her son, is constantly surrounded by darkness. In Mil-Yang, where the sun is unusually bright, Shin-Ae’s darkness stands out even darker.

Shin-Ae seeks church to get out of the darkness. Upon setting her foot in the church, she feels that she has finally gotten hold of the sunshine. She feels that she has now grasped the sunshine she was vaguely anticipating when entering Mil-Yang through faith. She hopes that the sunshine is turning her life around. With a smile on her face, she gives witness that God’s sunshine now permeates her life. Although she has not taken even one step out of the darkness, she acts out her play as if she is living in the broad daylight under the sun. She might have thought that it could actually become reality if she keeps on acting. Or she simply has to do it because otherwise she would not be able to endure the oppressing darkness.

Nevertheless, once she meets with her son’s murderer, Park Do-Sup, she feels that she has been betrayed by the sunlight she thought she had seized. To us, it is an outcome that Shin-Ae herself caused, but she perceives that she has been betrayed by the sunshine or betrayed by God. From that point on, Shin-Ae launches her struggle against God. She becomes immersed in fighting against God. Perhaps, she intends to fight in league with the force of darkness, if she is unable to escape from her darkness. She struggles, kicking and screaming, in her fight against the light.

Her challenge against God becomes fiercer, to the point that she decides to resort to the ultimate measure of ending her life with her own hands. Her tortured cry, “You see? Can you see!” while enduring the excruciating pain from the slit veins in her wrist, is her final assault against God. However, in this last battle Shin-Ae surrenders, of her own accord. Rushing out to the street from the unbearable pain, begging passers-by for help to save her life, she cries out “Save me!” It sounds like her pleas to God. It is as if she is saying, “God, I lost. I give up my fight. So please help me for once. I will pretend that I don’t know anything from now on.”

Shin-Ae comes back to her senses only after she is discharged from to the mental hospital. She comes down to reality and begins to accept herself as she is, after bringing to an end the play she herself has produced and has been performing. Now she can quietly look at only herself in the mirror, in spite of her son’s picture staring at her from the same mirror. As we ponder the lingering effect of the movie, it appears that Shin-Ae would now truly love Mil-Yang, though it does not promise her any new special fortune; and she would finally accept and love Jong-Chan, who seemed to be merely a country bumpkin before. Once she comes down from the stage, everything looks so different.

The last scene of this movie clearly shows us the reason why the director chose the title ‘Mil-Yang.’ Let’s take a look at the scene again.

2:17:00-2:19:13

Shin-Ae, sitting in front of a mirror, reminds us of a line in the famous poem “Next to Mum” by Poet Seo Jung-ju; “Dear flower looking like my older sister who is standing in front of a mirror, having now returned from the far, faraway back-street of her youth…” . Shin-Ae is sitting in front of a mirror, swaying like an autumn mum, tired but a bit detached from the vicissitudes of her life: the shock of her husband’s death, the betrayal and despair from her late husband’s extramarital affairs uncovered after his death, her hopeful new beginning in Mil-Yang, her son’s abduction and murder that totally shattered her dream, her happy encounter with God that gave her new hope, the presumed betrayal by God that destroyed such hope, and her tension-filled struggle with God.

The sunshine radiating from behind her is also brightly shining upon the face of Shin-Ae who is sitting in front of a mirror. The light is ‘secret sunshine.’ It is not the bright, blinding, and powerful sunshine that is radiating through the window, seen from inside of the car at the beginning of the movie. It is not the direct blazing sunlight that fills up the sky, but a softer and dimmer sunlight that shines indirectly from the side. The ‘secret sunshine’ Shin-Ae was longing for in her heart when she moved to Mil-Yang is finally permeating her. In a sense, this movie is about Shin-Ae’s painful journey in her quest for that “secret sunshine.”

3.

The “secret sunshine” also casts faint light on a shallow and filthy puddle where broken cans and bottles and other trash, after being carried by the rain water, are strewn around. Wouldn’t this be the image of God the director wants us to see through this movie? We all wait for the day when the sun rises suddenly with a flourish; however, the sun always sheds light in the way we don’t understand. Isn’t this what the director had in mind? - that the sun casts light more narrowly on a lowly, shabby and filthy place that does not offer us any special promises; that the sun doesn’t help us live in a dream world, but helps us to embrace a burdensome and wearisome life; that the sun casts light on us when we remain quietly waiting rather than when we are eagerly seeking it.

If so, this movie seems to tell us: “If you seek true salvation, go to Mil-Yang for the secret sunshine.” The secret sunshine that gives true salvation symbolizes the God we believe. Mil-Yang, where things are pretty much ordinary, Shin-Ae’s chilly and messy house, and the sewage pipe where the sun is shedding light in the last scene symbolize our own reality. Living with our belief in God means that in our real life we face such shabby reality, embrace it and show love. Only when we live with such faith will we be able to find the secret sunshine warming our shoulders.

The Bible verse we read today is about prayer, one of the three themes of Jesus’ teaching; charity, prayer and fasting. These three were what the contemporary Jews considered the most important practices in their spiritual life. However, many Jews tried to receive recognition for their charitable actions, and to gain others’ attention for their praying and fasting. Criticizing these as hypocrites, Jesus said “when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then, your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Jesus revealed a revolutionary outlook on God in this passage. God is hiding! What does this mean? Does this mean that God is playing hide-and-seek? Does this mean that God does not want to reveal Himself? No. God is the “God of Revelation.” As He is a spiritual being, He appears hiding from us who are physical beings. For this reason Jesus called God "unseen" -- in effect, “the Hiding God” -- or “God remaining in secret.”

“The Hiding God”, to be more accurate, “God who seems to be hiding”’ is what the secret sunshine symbolizes in this movie. The God Jesus revealed to us works in secret like the secret sunshine lighting Shin-Ae from behind rather than the blazing sun in front of her. When we stay quiet, it comes from behind us, illuminates, and surrounds our shoulders warmly. God acts in a gentle, warm, secret, quiet and unseen way rather than in dramatic, brilliant, dazzling, splendid and decisive way.

The God Jesus revealed to us does not take us out of reality into a dream world. During the past two millennia of Christian history there were Christians who tried to escape into their own world after having created an artificial world. And there still exist today some Christians who make the same mistake. It is definite evidence that the god they serve is different from the God Jesus revealed to us. The God Jesus revealed to us would not let us avoid our real life or let us build a castle of illusion in this world.

Rather, God helps us to discover the force of the secret sun which encourages us to face our life’s reality. By doing so, he expects us to overcome our shabby, weary and desperate reality. That’s why Jesus prayed for his disciples before his death: “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” (John 17:15) God’s intention for us is not to escape from this world to heaven but to change this world into heaven by facing and entering into our life’s reality.

4.

One of the most memorable scenes in this movie is where Shin-Ae is interrupting a revival assembly in a park as a part of her struggle against God. The critics of Christian religion will be amused by this scene and the Christians will be pained by it. Let’s watch the scene.

1:45:26-1:48:30

During the passionate prayer to God, a song is heard. “It’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, and it’s a lie. Love is a lie, laughter is a lie.” This song continues, “God too is a lie, the Bible too is a lie, salvation too is a lie, love too is a lie, and church too is a lie.” When this song is heard during the prayer, each person in the movie shows a different reaction. Some consider it as just noise and continue to pray with a look of annoyance. Others, after listening to the actual words of “lie,” show a look as if they are questioning whether what they believe now is all lies. Some, thinking it is Satan’s temptation, pray more loudly to drown out the sound of the song.

This scene to me symbolizes the inner voice that believers hear ceaselessly. We keep believing in God who seems to be hiding. The salvation we believe in is to live in an invisible eternity. We keep believing that the invisible reality is more certain than the visible reality. As St. Paul said, “We live by faith and not by sight” (1 Cor 5:7).

We, however, live in the physical world, with our physical body, enjoying things we see with our eyes and touch with our hands. Moreover, the evil spirit, essentially ‘a tempting spirit’ continues to look for opportunities to deceive us. In the same vein, I am reminded of Kim Choo-Ja’s song, that we Korean Christians are familiar with.

To a pastor with sincere faith, to an elder disciplined with service and sacrifice, to a constantly praying exhorter, to a deacon whose heart has recently been warmed with God’s grace, to a novice believer who has just experienced God’s love, and to an inquirer who is weighing at the moment whether to believe or not to believe in God, this song is heard. Sometimes, you ignore it and pass it as noise; other times, you actually listen to the words of the song. “Could it be a lie? Am I being deceived? Is what I believe real?” As Shin-Ae said, because we “cannot believe even the things we see with our eyes,” it may be only natural to be tempted by this song.

5.

At this juncture, two people come to my mind. One is the late Mother Teresa of Calcutta whose recently published personal letters set off a storm not too long ago. In the book of collected letters, “Come Be My Light,” you can read of her strong faith toward the hiding God and also her skepticism and confusion about God. She writes to her priest in one of the letters as follows:

Now Father--since 49 or 50 this terrible sense of loss--this untold darkness--this loneliness, this continual longing for God--which gives me that pain deep down in my heart--Darkness is such that I really do not see--neither with my mind nor with my reason--the place of God in my soul is blank--There is no God in me--when the pain of longing is so great--I just long and long for God--and then it is that I feel--He does not want me--He is not there--... God does not want me--Sometimes--I just hear my own heart cry out--"My God" and nothing else comes--The torture and pain I can't explain.

The other person is C. S. Lewis, who is called the best Christian dialectician of the 20th century. He made a clean break with the atheism he used to profess for a long time, came to believe in Jesus Christ, and left many writings with intellectual depth in addition to the classic, “Mere Christianity.” Lewis, who has lived as a bachelor for most of his life, meets a woman named Joy in the later part of his life, and falls in love. Before meeting Lewis, Joy had been fighting cancer. Lewis, despite her cancer, goes ahead with marriage and lives with her happily for a few years.

Lewis, who strongly believed in God’s love, prayed to God earnestly asking for the cure for his wife’s cancer. But all he could do was helplessly watch her die in great pain and suffering. After his wife’s passing, he wrote a book called “A Grief Observed.” In this book, Lewis states his questions on God that have been nagging him for some time.

“Now, where is God?….. You go to him when your need is desperate, when all other help is in vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, an inside lock getting clicked again and again, and then, silence. It is better to turn back. The longer I wait, the deeper I feel the silence to the bone. There is not a single strain of light at window. Who knows if it’s an empty house? Anyone has ever lived there? It looked that way once. At that time it sure looked like someone was in the house but now it truly looks like an empty house. What does his absence mean now? Why is he so stingy in giving help at a time of need when he used to rule us as if he were our commander during the time of prosperity?

6.

It means that Teresa of Calcutta, who is revered as a 20th century saint, and C. S. Lewis who is regarded as the best Christian dialectician of the 20th century, also listened internally at times to the song of “It’s all a lie.” To the people who believe in God or who want to believe in God, it’s hard to escape from hearing this song. At times it is loud; at other times it’s low. It is not because our faith is weak, but because of our human condition. For us who exist as physical beings, the spiritual God appears to be “the hiding God.” He appears to be like the “secret sunshine”. Thus, if we make up our mind we easily deny anytime the existence of the secret sunshine or the hiding God.

However, can we deny the existence of sunshine just because it looks secretive? Can we conclude that He does not exist just because he appears hiding? At this juncture, I want to show a scene from the movie for the last time. It’s the scene where Shin-Ae is talking with Deacon Kim at the drugstore.

1:01:50-1:04:05

Deacon Kim, pointing at the corner where the sunshine is beaming secretly, says: “God’s will exist even in that piece of light.” Then, Shin-Ae walks to the corner and says: “What do you mean by saying something exists here? It is just sunshine. Nothing more.” When the secret sunshine is quietly beaming down, Shin-Ae insists that nothing exists. Even though the sunshine she has so long yearned for is right there she says that nothing exists there. The secret sunshine is thus so hard to discern. Even though she receives the secret sunshine on her entire body, she insists that there is nothing. There is no good way to persuade her then.

God is the same way. Jesus taught us from the Sermon on the Mount. “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). God, like the secret sunshine, embraces everyone in the world, yes, all the living things and beings, and shines upon them. However, there are many who insist that “No God exists. How can you say that God exists? And there is no proof,” even when they receive God’s light all over their body. There is no good way to persuade them. We can only pray that they will come to a moment when they feel the same warm sunshine from God that Shin-Ae felt in front of her mirror.

7.

My beloved congregation. Let us praise the God we believe. We praise the very God Jesus revealed to us, hiding God, the God who remains in a lowly place, the God who cannot be held when we try to hold Him, but who embraces our existence when we quietly wait for Him, the God who does not help us to escape to illusion or fantasy, but helps us to face stark reality, to embrace reality, and to change the reality. At times we have questions and doubts. But we try hard to live with believing rather than seeing. God who seems to be hiding is emitting his secretive light on our shoulders. Let us entrust our lives to him and live by embracing the reality. Surely the sunshine from below or from inside will change our lives little by little without any visible marks and with certainty.

By any chance, are there any of you who are hesitant to believe the God Jesus has revealed? Are there any of you who think, as Shin-Ae does, that God does not exist, and it is all a lie, although you have lived all this time with God’s secretive grace? You may think that someone like me who believes in God may seem to be fooled, but I hope you will think hard as to who is being fooled. Because God lives so close to us, like sunshine, it appears that He does not exist and He does not seem to be with us all the time. I pray the you will soon find such a moment of grace as Shin-Ae does, when sitting in front of the mirror, she feels the warm sunshine that is secretly casting over her shoulder, turns her head toward heaven, and opens her eyes to the sun.