2007. 11. 11 Rev. Kim, Young Bong

Jesus who went to the Movie Theatre <3>
“Hold the Mirror”
Luke 51:11-24

1.

From any perspective, it seems hard to consider the movie “Mil-Yang” as a love story between a man and a woman. However, the movie poster advertises it as if it is a love story. The poster includes statements such as “He begins to hover around her in a circle.” (copy) And “This kind of love also exists…” At the Mil-Yang train station, Shin-Ae’s brother hurls these words at Jong-Chan, “You are not my sister’s type.” For us in the audience also, Shin-Ae, a polished lady from Seoul, does not seem to be suited to this country bumpkin. However, Jong-Chan is always hovering around Shin-Ae. It is true that Jong-Chan’s love toward Shin-Ae is one theme that weaves through the story. Yet, we cannot see this movie simply as a love story between a man and a woman.

Why is this? It is because Shin-Ae’s agony and healing process are more dominant themes than the love between her and Jong-Chan. However, the more important reason, I think, is because of the uniqueness of Jong-Chan’s love toward Shin-Ae. The love Jong-Chan showers on Shin-Ae looks different from that shown by most people falling in love. Of course, Jong-Chan loves Shin-Ae as a woman. But, I feel that it is more than that. I feel that his love toward Shin-Ae transcends the passion of physical love between lovers, and is more genuine, complete, and of a higher dimension.

My question is, “Why has the director tried to make this movie stand out as a “love story”? It seems obvious that nine out of ten people would say, “It’s not a love story, is it?” Then, why does the director insist on advertising it as such? I’ve thought hard over this matter and suddenly it occurred to me. “Was it perhaps because he wanted to talk about that one true love, a love greater than the love between a man and a woman?” Wasn’t it perhaps because he wanted to demonstrate the true, eternal, and sincere love toward which every other love--the love between man and woman, the love between parent and children, and the love between friends aspires?

I think that the advertising slogan (copy), “This kind of love also exists…” sends a message that makes us think about the love we are all familiar with. It sounds as if he is asking “do you know about this kind of love, although you profess love everyday?”

2.

Jong-Chan is quite a unique character in the movie. As Shin-Ae says, he is vulgar. He has no sense of right and wrong. He seems to have no compunction about flirting with the tea-room hostess who was invited to the car center office. Even though Shin-Ae does not ask for it, he forges a musical contest award certificate and hangs it on a wall in her piano institute. When Shin-Ae asks, “What is this?” Jong-Chan answers “You will need this, and the rumor will spread and bring in lots of children.

After Jong-Chan starts attending church to be with Shin-Ae, his actions become even more interesting. Right after he starts to attend the church, he volunteers as a member of the parking ministry team. Generally, first-time volunteers do their work very conscientiously. One day he is bothered by the way a car is parked (not very well). Although his former way of expressing his irritation begins to come out, he tries to suppress this reaction because he is at church… Let’s look at the funny scene.

1:14:36 to 1:15:24

Unconsciously he utters cuss words. If he had been any other place, he would have kicked the car several times, but since he is conscious of other church members nearby, he is just beside himself. Then, when his friend comes and drives away, he throws his greeting, “Why don’t you buy me a drink someday?” Later when Shin-Ae participates in an evangelic ministry, Jong-Chan also joins the mission team singing hymns in front of the Mil-Yang train station. His drinking buddies come and make fun of Jong-Chan’s new religious zeal, and he thoughtlessly smokes a cigarette after bumming one from his buddy and says, “Why, how tasty is this cigarette? It has an awesome taste today!”

Even after Shin-Ae ceases going to church after she feels betrayed by God, Jong-Chan keeps up his attendance. Shin-Ae’s brother, who visits Mil-Yang to see his sister, sees a cross hanging in Jong-Chan’s car and asks him, “Are you still going to church?” His answer cannot help but make us laugh. Let’s see the scene.

2:09:16 to 2:10:20

As such, Jong-Chan is just one of the common ordinary people we see all around us, with nothing special that makes them stand out. Further, he seems like a person with no special moral sense. He lives with the philosophy that if it looks good, it’s good enough. When Shin-Ae first arrives at Mil-Yang, she asks Jong-Chan in the car, “Do you know the meaning of ‘Mil-Yang’?” he answers “Eh? Do we have to know the meaning of everything in our daily life? We just live.” The answer seems like his life’s philosophy. Although attending church, he’s nowhere close to ‘God’s will’, ‘conviction in salvation’ or ‘discipleship’. Going to church for him is almost a habit.

3

Despite all this I cannot hate Jong-Chan no matter how hard I try. Shin-Ae's pretense in keeping the forged award as hers seems hateful, but Jong-Chan, who is hanging it up for her, does not inspire the distaste. Deacon Kim at the pharmacy, who says "unhappy people like Shin-Ae ..., " disclosing a person's pain indiscreetly, embarrasses us. And Elder Kang at the pharmacy who succumbs to Shin-Ae's temptation makes us ashamed; however, Jong-Chan’s actions do not appear untruthful nor hypocritical. Rather he looks endearing.

Why? You may have a better answer; I thought that it is because of his honesty, innocence, and truthfulness. Jong-Chan is truthful to what he knows, what he believes, what he feels, and where he stands. He does not even dream of becoming someone else. When Shin-Ae calls him “vulgar,” he does not retort nor become upset. It is as if he is saying, “so what if I am vulgar.” He accepts himself as he is and is at peace with himself. Unlike Shin-Ae who makes insincere proclamations that "believing in God feels like falling in love with someone,” Jong-Chan is honest about the reason why he goes to church.

Such characteristics of transparency, honesty, and sincerity make him hard to dislike. I don’t mean that he is ideal. He needs to improve in many ways. He needs to develop his moral sense. I would hope he will find better reasons to go to church. As his faith deepens, I hope that he will feel ashamed of flirting with the tea-room waitresses and feel uneasy about using those cuss words.

However, he is the most lovable character in the movie even with these frailties. He is the one who doesn't know how to pretend and who is not ashamed of his ignorance or lack of culture, but accepts himself as he is.

In the movie he always stands next to or behind Shin-Ae, which seems intended to compare Shin-Ae living in a play of her own making with Jong-Chan living in reality.

Another reason Jong-Chan is so endearing is his consistent devotion to and love for Shin-Ae. In his consistent love toward Shin-Ae there are no impure intentions. There is no calculation, either. In fact, while watching his relationship with Shin-Ae, even I, a failure when it comes to the art of wooing women, feel sorry for him. It's obvious why he is still single at an age close to 40. It's hard to capture a woman's heart by hanging around a woman without any strategy or artifice. Jong-Chan shows up in front of Shin-Ae smiling no matter how often Shin-Ae pushes him away or ignores him, as if he has no pride in himself.

Although this movie is advertised as a love story, this movie doesn't seem to be one because Jong-Chan's love is unique in the sense of a man's love toward a woman. The goal of his love is not to embrace her physically, but solely to make her happy. If Shin-Ae met another man and fell in love with him, and if the man looked better than himself, he would have said to her, "Go and live happily with him".

4.

In this movie the person who shows true love through his own life is neither the pastor at the church nor Deacon Kim at the pharmacy who is filled with evangelical zeal. It is Jong-Chan, who has a vague notion of moral sense, unable to lead his own life successfully, and is attending church out of habit. He is the one who shows us what true love is. The love he shows is to give himself over to another person's happiness unconditionally, unyielding to any obstacles, consistently, and without any calculations.? His love does not infringe on her privacy and it respects her will and sentiments, and waits patiently until she asks for help.

From the beginning to the end of the movie, Jong-Chan and Shin-Ae always appear to keep a certain distance. He does not force anything on Shin-Ae. He leaves her to do whatever she wants to do. While watching her from a distance, he comes closer to her only when he feels his help is needed. Although he wishes to do everything for her, he knows he has to restrain himself. He knows that such an act is not an act of love or of help. Although keeping a distance and waiting makes our viewers’ heart bleed, he always maintains a distance while hovering around Shin-Ae.

Jong-Chan’s love resembles the love of God; it resembles the love of Jesus. While reflecting on Jong-Chan's love, I remembered “the parable of a prodigal son” from Luke 15. This parable should be called “the parable of a foolish father” rather than “the parable of a prodigal son”'. Jesus showed us what is God’s love. God's love is like the foolish father's.

The Jewish audience who first listened to this must have been shocked by this father in the parable. It must have been very rare to see such a father at that time.

If we consider the Jewish culture of the time, demanding one’s inheritance while the father is still alive is like saying “I don't need my father any more or it is as if my father passed away, please let me have my share of the inheritance". But as if the father was tired of talking some sense into his son, he gave his son his share. The son left his father with the inheritance, lived a lavish life and became a beggar. When the son regained his senses, he decided to go back to his father, thinking "if I were to die as a beggar anyway, at least I would beg my father for forgiveness before I die". The worst scenario in the thinking of the returning prodigal son was to be beaten to death by his father; the best scenario was to become a slave in his father's household. However, when the father saw his returning son in the distance, he rushed to him and greeted him happily. He ordered his slaves to put the best clothes on his son, put a ring on his son’s finger, and put sandals on his son’s feet. And he ordered them to prepare a feast by killing fat calves.

What kind of father would act like that?
If it was the kind of father we know in old times, he, rather than giving the son’s share, would have kicked him out. And if he saw his son returning as a beggar, he would have chased him away with sticks. As if chasing away is not enough, he would have gone to the local government registration office and expunged his son’s name from the family record. Jewish fathers at the time of Jesus would have acted the same way. Thus, Jesus introduced a strange and foolish father in this parable. Why so? It is because God’s love toward us is like that.

God’s love is unconditional, consistent, and changeless and knows how to wait. His love does not interfere, control, or suppress, but endures until we see and act by ourselves. Even when we go astray and fail, his love endures and watches over us and waits until we become mature, grow, and recover through the experience. In order to give this message, He gave us the parable. And Jesus who loved us as God loved us and was crucified on the Cross. And that love is our power of salvation.

5

Although Director Lee Chang-Dong does not try to present Jong-Chan as an ideal man, it seems that he tries to suggest what true love is through Jong-Chan. And how much his love resembles God’s love! How his love so much resembles Jesus’ love that was made evident through the Cross! Director Lee Chang-Dong is not known to be affiliated with any particular religion; nevertheless, it came to my mind that he must be a man who fully understands the essence of love that Christianity speaks of.

Only a love like Jong-Chan’s can help heal such a deep wound, the kind that Shin-Ae had to endure. It appears that Shin-Ae wanted to heal the agonizing pain of losing even her only son, not long after losing her husband, as soon as she could. Wouldn’t you do the same? Her pain is too great for her to continue living with. So she attends meetings for healing; she hastily interprets the temporary change in her mood as God’s healing.

However, in regard to healing of wounds, there is one truth that Shin-Ae should have known and we must not forget: healing takes time and pain. There is no way to shorten the time and there is no way to reduce the pain. No one can take that pain on your behalf. For my wound, I am the only one who has to take it. There are not any particular methods to alleviate the pain. It will be healed only with the sufficient lapse of time. “Time should be the medicine!” This from an old Korean pop song might sound too mundane, but this is one simple truth that many psychiatrists agree with in unison.

In one of the recent bestsellers “Life Lessons,” the authors state as follows, based on their experiences with countless people who were hurt in heart:

There is one thing I can tell you with confidence: time will heal all that pain. Unfortunately, the healing process is not always in a straight line. The recovery will not be fast and clear like a straight line in a graph. The healing process is rather like riding on a rollercoaster. You can fall into the abyss of despair all of a sudden while seemingly on the right path of healing. On the other hand, while you seem to be going backward, you might find yourself moving forward. Also there are times when you feel you are back to square one. This is a healing process. Eventually, you will be healed and regain your full self. You might not be able to regain what you have lost, but you can at least heal your wound. Also, when you arrive a certain point on this journey, you will realize that the people or things you thought you had lost in anguish, in fact, had never been possessed by you. You will also realize that you will possess those in eternity in other methods. (Page 88)

Therefore, how to love and help heal those who are in pain from their wounds is to endure the healing process together. Just as Jong-Chan does for Shin-Ae. No one can take the other person’s pain on his behalf. One should be very careful not to speak without thinking, as if he understands the other person’s pain so well. In this respect, Deacon Kim at the pharmacy seems like a man of the strongest faith; nevertheless, he is very clumsy in helping someone who is hurt. Those who are considered to be strong in their faith often make this kind of mistake. No matter how frustrating it is, watching and standing by someone who is hurt during his healing process is the greatest help and the greatest love we can give.

6

That does not mean that faith cannot play a role in the process of healing. Leading a spiritual life is one of the most effective methodss in healing of the mind. However, if such a spiritual life becomes an effort to forget one’s pain and a way to escape from the pain one has to endure, it will only delay true healing. A spiritual life should play an opposite role for us. A true spiritual life helps confront one’s hurt face-to-face and provides spiritual power to embrace and endure the pain coming from the hurt. Furthermore, through a spiritual life, we come to realize that our life has not ended with the loss and the pain that have happened to us. We come to realize that in spite of the loss and hurt, there are plenty of reasons to keep living. That’s why we can go on living without being seized by the loss and hurt that can make us a prisoner of the past.

How many people think they can skip over the healing time and avoid feeling pain through their faith! How many people misunderstand that a strong faith means to take the hurt blindly! It is like expecting the cut in your hand to be healed fast by praying. It is not that such miracles do not happen; however, more often God heals us through time.

Truth is cruel sometimes. Just because you have faith does not mean you can avoid the kind of loss and pain all others go through. Just because you have faith does not mean you can be healed instantly and exempted from pain. If that is the case, why would Jesus Christ die on the cross? At the same time, truth is merciful. If we walk accompanied by the Holy Spirit day after day, we can pass through the healing process without being crushed by the pain. With the power given by the Holy Spirit, we can face and embrace the pain. With the inspiration given by the Holy Spirit, we will be able to see beyond the wound inflicted on us and beyond the pain to be endured by us. In so doing, like the author in Psalms, we will be able to confess, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted. That I may learn Your statutes.”

I know that a lot of people are curious about the meaning of the last scene. The end of this movie leaves us with lingering ambiguities. Let’s take a look at the scene one more time.

2:16:50 to 2:18:30

In this last scene, we can have hope for Shin-Ae’s future. For three reasons. First, Shin-Ae is cutting her own hair, which means she is ready to face her life alone and voluntarily. Second, that a woman cuts her hair means she is ready to start something afresh with a new determination. Shin-Ae, cutting her own hair, looks like she is to become a new person. Third, looking in the mirror at herself means she is facing herself as she is. Have you seen a small photo that is stuck in the bottom left corner of the mirror Shin-Ae is looking in? It is the photo of her dead son, Jun. As you can see, Shin-Ae is not holding on to the picture any longer; she is looking at her face, doing her hair. It signifies that that much has been healed.

At that very moment, Jong-Chan comes in through the door. With his good- hearted smile, he asks, “Can I hold it for you?” and holds the mirror up so Shin-Ae can see herself. Shin-Ae straightens herself and cuts her hair. Jong-Chan’s love, Jong-Chan’s help has been this way all along. It is the kind of love that respects his beloved’s will and emotions 100% and stands by her side to see if he can give her any help. When Shin-Ae fails in seducing Elder Kang, she comes to Jong-Chan’s house and is about to collapse. Jong-Chan, for the first time, expresses his anger, shouting at her to put herself together. Jong-Chan, nevertheless, waits for her until she wakes up and puts up a mirror so she can see herself. Because of that kind of love, Shin-Ae can hold on to her life, and her healing becomes hopeful.

7

My beloved congregation. I wish you will reflect on how your hurt can be healed and restored while watching this movie. By any chance, are you now suffering from the hurt deeply hidden in your heart? By any chance, are you still suffering from the hurt you received in the past? Although you thought you have forgotten it, does the past hurt unexpectedly come back and haunt you?

Through the power of faith based on your spiritual life, I wish you will gain the strength to recognize your hurt and confront it directly. Through the power of faith, I wish you will gain the spiritual power to be able to embrace and endure the whole pain. With the power of faith, I wish you will see the world greater than the human loss.

The seemingly foolish God, as Jong-Chan who is watching Shin-Ae at a distance with an aching heart, is also watching us going through pain with an aching heart. And that is his way of love.

My beloved congregation! As we watch this movie, let’s think about how we can love the people who are hurt. We really don’t know how to love; how to love our parents; how to love our children. We are ignorant of how to love our spouse. Our love is very egotistical, calculating, emotional and fickle. Our love is too impatient and does not know how to wait. We are under the illusion that love is to mold our partner in our image. But it is only our greed wearing the mask of love. And it is our violence.

Love should not be centered on me but centered on our partner. Love should not gratify my own greed or my own happiness, but rather the receiver’s happiness. No matter how much the partner likes it, one should not force it on the partner. Even though something may look harmful to the receiver, one should not interfere too much and one should stay in the distance until the receiver realizes and decides by himself/herself. Love that endures trial and error, and waits. Love that bears the aching heart when the partner is suffering from hurt. Love that holds the mirror to let the partner see himself/herself clearly when the partner is finally awakened. How much do we know this kind of love? Do we really know God’s love when we say we believe in God and serve Him?

This movie throws questions through Jong-Chan to all of us who consider ourselves as men/women of good faith: have we known such love existed?; with the love you have been professing almost habitually, do you think you can help one single soul who is hurt?; and do you think your love can persist until the person’s hurt is completely healed? If we cannot respond to these questions honestly, then we cannot help but make the same mistakes of the characters in the movie: the characters shouting “you are born to be loved” while extending both arms, the characters who are content with singing self-gratifying hymns, and characters leaving the people who are hurt and in need of their help outside of church. While watching this movie I could not help feeling that God lives not inside of the church but outside of the church with Jong-Chan. If so, how foolish are we?

O, God of Love
We do not know what love is
We are incompetent in love
Pity us
Help us to know your love and practice such love.
O, Lord
Help us to become genuine
Amen