2007. 10. 28 Rev. Kim, Young Bong

Jesus goes to Theater (1): “End Your Play”
Matthew 19:16-22

1.

Shin-Ae is a young woman in her mid thirties, who has a young child named Joon. She is headed for the town of Mil-Yang, her late husband’s hometown, when her car breaks down near the town; so she calls up a mechanic from the city. The mechanic, Jong-Chan, falls immediately in love with her. With Jong-Chan’s help Shin-Ae settles in the town, opens a piano school, and starts a new life. While advertising her school to the neighbors, she also wants them to believe that she moved to the town according to her late husband’s wish. The townfolk, while suspicious of her real motives, act as if they believe her.

Among other things, Shin-Ae wants to buy real estate, as she says to her new neighbors. Though all she has in her bank account is a mere forty-seven hundred thousand won, (about $4700.00), she appears to have cash to spare. Then the unthinkable happens: Joon, her son, is kidnapped?by the owner of his speech school, it would later turn out?and demand is made for a large ransom. Shocked and desperate, Shin-Ae gives the $4,700.00 she has at hand and begs for her son, only to discover his death at the kidnapper’s hands. Having lost her one reason to live, she sinks into a profound grief.

On her way out from filing away Joon’s death certificate, stupefied and dazed, Shin-Ae spots a banner that reads: “For Broken Spirits”; it is a banner advertising a revival. Having been already encouraged by Ms. Kim at the pharmacy, Shin-Ae finds herself headed for the service. There at the end of the service, when everyone starts praying, she breaks down and cries hard, which promptly invites a minister’s praying hand upon her head. Amazingly, she finds a measure of peace. She starts attending church regularly and begins to tell others her story.

2.

After a while, Shin-Ae surprises all with an unexpected plan: she wants to visit her son’s killer, Park Do-Sup, in prison; she would forgive him, who had taken away her only hope in life. Everyone, including the pastor and Jong-Chan, tries to stop her but to no avail. Shin-Ae’s faith and courage now makes a deep impression on everyone.

Yet something unexpected happens. When Shin-Ae faces her son’s killer, finally managing to soften her face and to say, “I’ve come to forgive you with the help of God’s love,” Park Do-Sup answers that he has already met God and that all his sins have been forgiven. Shin-Ae does not know what to do with this. On her way out from the prison, she faints. Afterwards, she begins to struggle against God.

She is angry with God, because her right to forgive has been taken away from her. She summoned a truly super-human strength in order to offer forgiveness, only to have the opportunity taken away by God! She refuses to accept such a reality. Towards the latter part of the movie, Shin-ae is often seen staring into heaven with hatred in her eyes. In one scene she causes a disruption at an outdoor revival, walks out of the place, and glares at the sky with a wry smile. She does the same when tempting Elder Kang, a leader at church. First in the car, she lures him outside and onto an open field. Falling to the ground in Kang’s arms, she says towards the sky, “Can you see? Can you see well?” It is her way of getting back at God by staging before his eyes the downfall of a man of God. Kang, however, resists Shin-Ae, saying that he feels God is watching him.

As a final measure of her revenge against God, Shin-Ae attempts suicide. She cuts the veins in her arms and, in great pain, says to the heaven again, “See? Can you see?” She cannot, however, go through with it. Running outside, she asks for help. In the hospital she is treated as a mental patient.

Later, after being discharged from the hospital, Shin-Ae goes to a hair salon and runs into Park Do-Sup’s daughter. Of all the people whom she could have met, it was her enemy’s daughter who touched her hair. Unable to contain her anger, she bursts out of the place. Again, she glares into the sky.

The film ends with a scene where Shin-Ae takes a mirror and a pair of sissors, trying to cut her own hair. At that moment, Jong-Chan comes in and holds the mirror for her. She looks into the mirror that Jong-Chan is holding and trims her hair, some of which blows out into the corner where it is warmed by a ray of sunshine from heaven. Thus the movie ends.

3.

As I begin a series of sermons about the movie, Secret Sunshine, my particular focus is on Shin-Ae’s character. She was someone who ignored reality and lived a play that was written by, directed by, and starred herself. As the story goes on, it becomes evident that she was not living a truth but a self-made play.

For instance, it is revealed later in the story that her late husband was having an affair before his death. A normal person would have felt betrayed, wanting to forget everything related to the bitter memory. Denying what happened, however, Shin-Ae convinces herself that he loved only her until the end. So she moves to the place where he had grown up despite her parents’ objection, and there her being a devoted wife becomes also part of the act. She also acts as if she is quite well-off. With only some 4700.00 dollars in her bank account, she actually goes out to see a potential land buy and even comes close to a deal. In order to gain everyone’s respect, she had to appear as one of the “haves.” On closer study, one might well say that it was Shin-Ae’s act that took her son Joon’s life. Her pretense went too far. Yet she protests against God. If God is a God of love, why did he allow her son to die, she asks. Could there be in the world one who is wrongly blamed more often than God? Just about everyone blames God upon having a difficulty, when in fact the trap has been set by his or her own self. Had Shin-Ae not acted in order to appear rich, nothing would have happened to Joon.

At this point, she should have mourned for her son and put an end to her show. And yet her act becomes even more complicated: she employs faith into the play. Shin-Ae takes a passing change of emotion for divine healing. Alone, she is still lost in darkness; but in front of a crowd, she acts as if she has found a light. She even witnesses to others with her story and goes to outdoor singing and evangelism rallies. The people at the church are all captivated by her play.

At last, Shin-Ae plans to bring her act to a climax: to forgive her son’s killer. What an awesome thing that would be! The stuff of newspaper articles or a TV documentary. Shin-Ae throws down a challenge at this miracle of faith. Everyone hearing her plan is shocked and tries to dissuade her, but she insists on visiting the prison and personally offering her forgiveness. To her, Jong-Chan says something quite significant:

Scene: chap.15 from 1:28:17 to 1:29:10

“If you have forgiven him in your heart, isn’t that enough? Why do you have go to the prison and say that you forgive him? It’s not like you are a saint…” says Jong-Chan, and his line contains Shin-Ae’s hidden motive. From being a devoted wife, wise mother and woman of faith, she now wants to go as far as being a saint. She was not ready to forgive Park Do-Sup at all. There was still a burning hatred against him in her heart. What Shin-Ae hoped was for Park Do-Sup to appear miserable before her and to throw himself at her feet with tears and thanks at her words. So she wanted to avenge herself and become a saint in people’s eyes at the same time. It was to be a brilliant act.

4.

But something wholly unexpected happens. Now this is the most important scene of the movie. The Cannes-Award winning actress brings her best to it. Let’s watch it.

Scene: chap 15, from 1:30:41 to 1:34:29

Did you notice the hatred flash in Shin-Ae’s eyes when she was saying she forgave him? Did you notice her face when Park Do-Sup said that he had already been forgiven? Park Do-Sup was supposed to utterly break down before her and beg her forgiveness; instead, he seems so peaceful in confessing his belief. Instead of begging in tears, he thanks her with a smile. At this Shin-Ae becomes furious. Her anger is so great that she faints in the prison courtyard. Why did she become so enraged? It is because the act that she has been carrying on has just been shattered. Her secret plan for revenge has been thwarted. A carefully played show, just before its moment of climax, crashes to the ground.

Now she begins her revenge against God, who sabotaged her act. The scene where the pastor and the church members visit her at her house affords a look into her mind.

Scene: chap 16, from 1:40:40 to 1:42:50

Shin-Ae attempts to get her revenge against God, first by disrupting the revival service, then by tempting Elder Kang, again by disrupting the prayer meeting, and finally by trying to end her own life. Even that, however, does not go according to the plan. She fails at tempting Kang. She stages a suicide but cannot carry it out. When she is at the end of her rope, God makes her run into her enemy’s daughter, as if always intervening and disturbing her life. At first looking at heaven with a vengeful glare, she later wearily stares into the sky as if saying, “Why do you always follow me at every turn and torture me? Please, leave me alone!”
As she grows tired of her struggle against God, she begins to enter a normal life. She comes down from her stage and begins to accept her situation. There are several scenes that portray her beginning to accept reality. In one such scene, Shin-Ae, who has just run out of a hair salon runs into a clothing store owner. She greets Shin-Ae but quickly asks, “What is it with your hair?” Shin-Ae answers, “I didn’t like the way they were cutting my hair, so I just walked out in the middle of it.” The store owner blurts out, “That’s crazy!” then hastily covers her mouth. She realizes her blunder and does not know what to do; after all, Shin-Ae had just come out from a psychiatric ward. To this Shin-Ae responds with a nervous smile, then breaks out into laughter. She has accepted the fact that she was, at one point, crazy.

5.

In this film, God appears as someone who interferes with Shin-Ae’s act. Not that God planned Joon’s murder, but if there could be found a mysterious will behind it, it may be a message that says, “Stop your play, and see the reality!” Unfortunately, Shin-Ae refused to see the reality even through the death of her husband or of her son. She tried to live as the heroine of her self-directed play to the end. God, however, destroyed Shin-Ae’s play and drew her out into reality.

God’s will towards our lives is not for us to escape reality into a fiction. God does not want us to ignore the truth or to live by being wrapped in a self-imagined role in a self-imagined drama. We must not act as if we have something, if we do not have it. We must accept what we ought to accept, regardless of how difficult it may be. We must face our true selves, no matter how much we might want to look away from it. We must be true to our own selves, to our own circumstances, to our faith, and to our situation. It is then that the salvation of the secret sunshine breaks through.

6.

While I was reflecting on today’s subject, the story of the rich young man occurred to me. He asked Jesus: “Good teacher, what good must I do in order to inherit eternal life? (Matthew 19:16)” Jesus answered, “If you wish to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Commandments, did you say? Which one do you have in mind?” the confident young man asked. Jesus mentioned a few, at which the young man replied, “I’ve done it. I’ve kept all the commandments. But is there something that I lack?” Then Jesus answered, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give them to the poor. Then you shall have treasure in heaven. Then come and follow me.” At this word, the rich young man went away in sadness, the Bible says.

In this conversation, we see the hard side of Jesus. Instead of taking a softer approach, he uncovers the young man’s hidden weakness. The rich young man thought of himself as being devout in faith, and he wanted to be known as so. For that purpose he kept the commandments and gradually built his righteousness. Within himself, however, he did not have true faith in God. If he truly had faith in God, he could not have been so obsessed with his possessions. His intention in asking the question was not a desire to have true faith. It was rather a wish to be rich both in this life and in the life to come. An authentic faith cleanses and empties out such desires through relationship with God; but this young man wanted to hold on to his desires, to secure blessings in the next life.

Jesus, just like upsetting Shin-Ae, who went to forgive her son’s killer in order to become a saint, upsets the rich young man. At the word, “Go, sell what you have and give it to the poor,” he melted down, as does Shin-Ae. What Jesus wanted to say to the young man, is this: “Take a sober look at yourself! Lay down the spiritual pride that you have! Though you cover yourself with many layers of religious veils, you cannot hide yourself from me. You are a fake! Stop trying to act before God. Get out of your pretense. Admit the covetousness that is in you. Be honest with yourself. Go, be broken and weep. Or there is not hope for you.”

Upon hearing these words, the rich young man responded differently from the way Shin-Ae did. He became sad. To end his act, to unmask himself and be true to himself, must have looked difficult to the point that he was saddened. I do not know the story of what happened afterwards, but something makes me hope that the young man gave up his mask of hypocrisy and pretense and returned to Jesus.

The stories of the Old and the New Testament reveal that an authentic experience of God always begins with an honest self-discovery. When a man encounters God, invariably he realizes himself, despairs of himself and weeps. A person who has truly met God is awakened to reality, faces it, and despairs of it. That is the beginning point of salvation.

To say this in another way, a person who does not believe in God is in danger of avoiding the truth and living in an imaginary, self-produced play. If someone is said to have faith but continues to live in pretense, charade, and disguise, that person does not truly believe in God but instead serves the idol that is his or her own. An unbelief means self-deception, a false faith is to ornate oneself with religious covers, and a true faith means to open one’s eyes to self and stop acting. God, who is true, opens our eyes to ourselves and helps us face reality, shocking and painful as it may be, because that is when life finds its right path.

Friends, what about you? Could you by any chance still be continuing your act in an empty theater? Living an absurd life as the prince or princess, king or queen, in a world constructed only for yourself? Could the lies be coming between you and your closest loved ones, even between you and yourself? My prayer is that you will by the help of God be able to put an end to the play. If anyone stubbornly persists in it, I fear that there might come on the road the kind of pain that Shin-Ae experienced. Before having our plays shattered painfully by God, May we all seek God on our own, face ourselves and our truth, and therefore start living a life that is true.

Could some of you by any chance, despite the look of devotion and faith, have a hidden darkness within yourself? Trying to beautify your play with the power of faith? Making the church the stage of your play? Has the pretense and deception found its way into every corner of your life so that you cannot be honest even in your prayers before God? Let us not forget. Faith is the one thing that keeps us true, and when faith is distorted, it becomes the most effective tool for self-deception! Such is the picture that we see in the rich young man in Matthew’s Gospel. Could we possibly be like this young man in Jesus’ eyes?

Ah, fear grips me. All these questions sound as if they are given to me by the Holy Spirit, and I am apprehensive. I am afraid, because I keep hearing that tempting voice within myself saying, “Not me!” I, too, have a mask that needs to be put away, a reality that needs to be faced, a fault that needs to be acknowledged, and a temptation towards disguise and deceit. All I can do is to pray with all my heart, “O Lord, have mercy on me! Save me from this clowning. Make me real. Make me true.” It is my earnest prayer that all who hear this word share this desire, and that it will little by little come true.

O Lord, have mercy on us.
Save us from a clown’s way.
Help us be honest.
Help us be true.
Save us, so that
We may live life, and not a play.

Amen.