2003.5.11. Rev. Young-Jin Cho

"From close by"

1 John 4:7-12

Today is Mother's day. Today is the Sunday to remember and to be thankful for love of a mother who has sacrificed her whole life for her child. If there is most precious love in this world would be mother's love. If there is love that is anyway close to God's love would be mother's love. That is why we say that God gave us mothers as expression of his love for us.

But in today's world, many question marks are attached to this precious mother's love. There are many distorted pictures of love that lost the meaning of this precious love. Afraid of hurting children's spirit, we let them do whatever they want and end up raising children who do not know the boundaries or the limits. Expecting our children to fulfill our unfulfilled dreams, we press them so hard that we sometimes see children who lose their true identities and who wander around. Only emphasizing to study, we raise children with big heads without balanced maturity.

Today, I would like to look into this love that is the heart of home in the scripture. In every relationship, the most important thing is to love one another. We, especially as children of God are called to lead a life of love. The secret to a sound and joyful home is in loving one another. A home without love is like a desert. A home without joy is like a rough wilderness where the spring of joy dried up.

I

Today we read 1 John 4:7-12 together. 1 John is called as the letter of love or the letter of truth. Though there are only 5 chapters, the expression "dear friends" are recorded 6 times, "love" as noun 18 times and "to love" as verb 29 times.

In today's scripture, the Apostle Paul advises us: "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." What does it mean? It means we as Christians cannot live without love. It means if we know God, we must love one another. Because God is love.

If we became Christians who know God who is love, we have to love because God's love lives in us. For God's love holds and helps us, we must live loving. If we don't love one another, then we don't know God. For it is impossible to live without love when we know God. If we do not love, then we do not know God.

But this love should be carried out with the ones close by. Whom do you find it difficult to love? It is not the ones far away. It is not the ones far away because we do not meet them everyday. It is truly difficult to love the ones close by. It is loving the ones close by. Truly loving your family with whom you feel no burden but comfort.

There was a seminar for the pastors in mid-northern area few years ago under the topic of "healing." I was in charge of morning and night sermons, I told them this. "Let us include our pastors wives in the category of neighbors, when we obey the words, love thy neighbors as you love yourself." It was because I thought that most neglected people in love is our spouses because of our hectic schedules as pastors. I say this because I ,also, am failing on this subject matter.

Dear congregation, it is important to spread God's love to the ones far away. It is important to love the ones apart. But love should start from the closest. For most it should start from our homes. Then it should spread among the brothers and sisters of this community of faith. Aren't the priorities been mixed up, if we concentrate on spreading love far way and yet neglect to love the ones close by? Wouldn't it be difficult to love the ones far away, when we cannot even share love with the ones close by. Obeying God's command to love should begin from close by. It should begin at home. It should start with the ones close by.

II

I would like to go in detail. Dear congregation, what is real love? What does it mean to live a life loving? How could we lead a life sharing true love with the ones closest in this time and age?

To live a life of true love, we first need to focus on God's love. We can speak of love as what and how we think. We can speak of love from our own experiences. But "The Originator" of love is God. We cannot speak of love apart from God who is love. God is love still. That is why we find true love, real love in the love God has shown us.

(1) The first thing I would like to tell is this. Today's scripture 4:9 tells: "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him."

God did not merely think that he loved us. He did not merely say he loved us. God showed that love. He definitely showed us his love for us through sending Jesus Christ. Love is communication. Love should be concretely expressed and be shown.

Often, we Koreans, especially Korean men are not good at expressing love. They say smile speaks for all. It might make sense in some respects, love still need to be expressed and shown. It is important especially for those living in this land.

An interesting article was written on religious section of Korean Daily Newspaper last Friday by pastor Lee Jae Chul. The pastor was in Phoenix, Arizona, when he heard this story. If a couple orders an expensive meal at the restaurant, they are couple having an affair outside of marriage. Orders a cheap meal, they are married couple. If a couple talks and looks into each other's eyes throughout the meal, they are having an affair. They are married if they just eat without talking or looking. If a man picks up the tap, they are having an affair. If a woman pays, they are married. If a couple goes for a drive after the meal, they are having an affair. Straight home, they are married. Endless conversation with smiles, they are having an affair. Looking out the window without talking and getting off the car at the destination, they are married couple for sure.

It is a story of typical expressionless Korean couple. Such an expressionless couples seem to be among Americans as well. There was an article in the newsletter published by an American church on Valentine's Day. A wife protested to her husband that he didn't tell her how much he loves her after they got married. An abrupt husband answered: " Didn't I tell you I love you at the wedding? My love hasn't subsided, that's why I didn't say anything. I will let you know if there is a change."

Isn't it a problem, if a natural expression of love shared by the couple is seen as having an affair? When pastor Lee shared this story with his wife, Sa Mo Min concluded that their relationship was definitely an affair. And his son also agreed on that. But his youngest son said " But it is a happy affair." So the whole family laughed about it and decided to enjoy this affair.

This expression of love does not necessarily require money. It can always be expressed with warm words, with attention of love and with thoughtfulness. The problem with today's parents is the misunderstanding that money can solve all the problems. It is the worst misunderstanding of all that love can be measured with money. We can still express love with no money, even if we live in absolute poverty. We still can express heartfelt love without buying a diamond ring.

(2) Secondly, today's scripture 4:10 testifies: "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." God first loved us. God did not wait for us to love him. God first loved us.

What is true love? It is to love first. The words that we also love first as God first loved us have two important meaning.

1) First, in spite of our lack of qualifications to be loved, he still loves us. God's love that first loved us implies that. The scripture "God first loved us" means that he did not check for our qualifications. He did not love us because we deserved it. In spite of, despite of, he loved us as who we are.

That's what true love is. Even when they don't suit your taste, even when they don't deserve to be loved, you love them. You accept and love your spouses and your children as what they are. You don't just love their good traits. You don't just love the good. You accept even if they are insufficient and even if they are not enough. You try to love and try to accept even that insufficiency.

You can still love the person worth loving even if you don't believe in Jesus Christ. If we believe in God of love, we can say that we reached that life of perfect love when we accept, understand and love that someone not worth loving.

2) Therefore, such love accompanies endless patience and endurance. Without patience, it's not true love. How much has Jesus endured? He endured until he was crucified on a cross.

Dear congregation, pay attention to the song that sings of love in 1Corinthians chapter 13. What does it start with when speaking of love? "It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." It ends with endurance. Love starts with and ends with endurance. It is the precious words that reveal the identity of true love.

I too am in training for endurance raising a teenage son. I understand a little bit about how God feels when I struggle with my son. I see my self before God when my son though not the best way, insists on his way before me. I see what it means to truly love through my son. Parents who are struggling with your children today, endure a little bit longer, trust them a little bit more, wait a little bit longer and persevere a little bit longer.

Let's be thankful that we are more aware of our lives through them and let's wait a little bit more. Let's not give up on our life of true love. Let's endure a little bit more. It's not easy to love first. But it is the way of life that we cannot give up.

(3) Thirdly, true love is love that brings a person to life. What does it mean to bring a person to life? It is important to bring your body to life. It is important to bring your intellect to life. It is important to bring emotional satisfaction to life. But the truly important thing is to bring a soul to life. It is to guide a soul to Christ so that he or she could have eternal life.

God accomplished this work by sending Jesus Christ. He carried out this work of love by bringing us to life. He became the way for wandering lives. He became the light for those wandering around in darkness. He became the life for those chained in death. God's love brought our existence to life. This is what true love is. God who is love itself was at work and is at work today through Jesus Christ.

We, if we love our brothers and sisters, parents and friends, must participate in bringing them into life. Even if the children go to the Ivy League schools, if their soul does not know God, can you say you truly love them? No matter how frugally you managed the housework and supported your husband to success, if your husband is out of sight of Christ, is that love enough? Even a couple accumulated wealth and prepared themselves for old age, if they have not prepared themselves for eternal life over death, did they do their best for each other?

We know Abraham Lincoln well. When his mother passed away, she left a will to Lincoln. "Dear Abe! I inherited this bible from my parent. Even though it's old and worn, it is our family treasure. I am more glad to be leaving this Bible to you than leaving hundred acres of land. Dear Abe! Please read the Bible sincerely and love God and your neighbors as the Bible tells us. That is my last wish. Can you promise me?" A stepmother after his mother passed away also raised Lincoln in faith. One day, sat Lincoln on her lap, told him about Abraham written in the Bible, how great man of faith Abraham was. And she encouraged him to become faithful and pleasing to God's eye just like Abraham, when he grows up. Later on Lincoln said: "If I succeeded, it's because of mother who was like an angel." His biographer also wrote: " God did not provide any condition for Lincoln that is required of a great man. He gave only poverty and a mother with great faith."

True love is love that brings a person to life. Encourage one's mind and intellect but we also need to bring one's soul to life. A love that brings life is the true love.

III

The Bible tells us this morning, to live with love, to love one another. This love should begin here from where you are. We should share the love God showed us with the ones close by.

In May issue of the journal "Low Fence" published a beautiful love story. A mother in law was doing housework for her son and her daughter in law because she pitied them for living apart, meeting only on weekends, due to son's military obligations. When her daughter saw her mother running the errands around the house, she called a sister in law and exploded over the phone. Complaining about how she treated her mother, this daughter said the things that she should not have about her sister in law. She even exploded over the phone with her brother. Later on mother called and told the daughter to behave especially to her sister in law. The mother came running as soon as she hung up the phone and talked to her daughter holding hands. "You know how I have been living. Your father was like an orphan. I did not even have in laws. When your father passed away so early, I was so sad about not having anybody to depend on, I even wished for a mother in law even if she gives me hard time. Every time I see your sister in law , I am reminded of this, and want to do more for her. How lonely she must feel away from husband, when she should be enjoying time of newlyweds. You have no idea because you are not married." And the mother soothed her daughter in low voice. "That day was a bad day for her. She came to my room the night before and cried her heart out about how much she missed her husband……I was so sympathetic of her feeling. I promised myself when I became a mother in law. I would not pass on all the sorrow that I had experienced. That's why, that day I told her not to do anything."

Listening to her mother, this daughter felt sorry for her sister in law for all the harsh words. She was hesitant even though she wanted to apologize. She couldn't call her willingly the next day either. But her sister in law came later that afternoon. A daughter said, " I …am… sorry. I ……wanted to say……sorry. I was way out of line yesterday. I misunderstood." Her sister in law also replied. "I am sorry too. Here. A present for you." And she handed a bundle of roses. " I am by all means sorry." "Ah Ga Si, do you know that it's been 200 days since we met? Your brother brought cake and roses to celebrate the 200th day. We have been family for 200 days already. You don't know how happy I felt when you call me Un Ni. I am not yet good at being Un Ni since it's been only 200 days. So I need a lot of help from you."

Isn't this a beautiful family? Isn't it splendid to love like this? God is telling us this morning. Dear congregation, love one another. Love comes from God. People who love come from God and know God. People who do not love, do not know God. For God is love. Dear congregation, for God so loved us, let us also love one another.