2002.1.13. - Moon H.I. JDS

How can they be useful ?

John 6:1-13

The word "meeting people" in Korean language makes one's heart flutter. The Korean TV drama entitled, "Carrying the Love" is about reminiscing the events of 20-30 years ago including the days of elementary school, first love, old close friends and beloved teachers. People are anxious to meet each other again to reconcile the old matters. While I was watching I became jealous and was wondering whether there are some one searching for me too. I found one commonality among them; without an exception they all possessed a feeling of love for each other.

Last year at Princeton University, the New York Korean Presbyterian ministers held a seminar at which Rev. Cho was a main speaker. I was deeply impressed and blessed by his presentation. An overflow of his compliments of his church's lay ministries and the leaders, somewhat, made me jealous. During this seminar I noticed a young man, with a Kyung-Sang Do accent, diligently following Rev. Cho, and he happened to be Rev. Sang Keun Kim. Later, he told me that he was coming to this church. A warm friendship between them was very conspicuous. I was very surprised and skeptical to hear from Rev. Cho that the successful lay ministries are being achieved in the United Methodist. So, he advised me to visit his church during the 50th anniversary activity week which extended an invitation to other ministers. So I signed up and found that I was the first one to do so. Unfortunately, the plan was cancelled due to September 11 crisis. Even after that he encouraged me for future visit, and I actually paid a few visits since then. Finally, today I have become an official member of this church and I am very delighted to serve for the church with good reputation. I thank God for giving me this opportunity.

While searching for my sermon material, I was attracted to a book entitled "The window of souls" by Ken Geiger. Once I hesitated to chose this, for the story has been told from the elementary church school classes, thus giving an impression of triteness. Yes, when I encounter the familiar bible verses, I no longer become impressed or re-energized. In order words, I found myself changing and seem to lose freshness.

As I read today's scripture carefully, I found Jesus to be "awesome". This was the popular vocabulary in Korea last year. How could he feed 5000 people with 5 loaves of barley bread and 2 fish ? The gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke all contain this story: After hard work, Jesus wished to share fellowship with the tired disciples , so he went to the sea shore of Galilee but a large crowd of people were waiting for him to witness the miraculous signs. There Jesus was healing the sick ones and taught them about the kingdom of God. But there surfaced a problem; many people were hungry because they were there with Jesus for few days. Noticing this situation, Jesus asked Philip and Andrew for the means of feeding the crowd. In other gospels the names of Philip and Andrew were not mentioned, instead appeared as disciples. The disciples asked Jesus to send the crowd away , so that they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food. But in today's reading, Jesus asked first to disciples to feed the crowd. He asked them in order to test their faith. In responding Philip suggested that at least 200 dinarii was necessary based on his experience. While hearing this conversation, Andrew interjected by introducing a boy with 5 small loaves of barley bread and 2 fish but Andrew questioned saying "How far will they go among so many?"

In Korea at the time of food shortage, dark barley bread was made from the crushed barley including the coarse skins. I believe this barley bread had similar characteristics as that of little boy's; tasteless, cheap and mainly consumed by the poor. The boy with the bread and fish is today's hero. He gave it to hungry Jesus. In John 4, there is a story of Samaritan woman conversing with Jesus. Just then, his disciples were surprised to see him talking to gentile. They urged Jesus to eat but Jesus said "I have food to eat that you know nothing about." They thought some one else already offered him food. Jesus said "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and finish His works." While on this earth, Jesus lived only according to God's will and shared everything with others. His manifestation of love for others removed the mind of this little boy. If this boy had appeared in TV drama of "Carrying the Love", he would be searching for Jesus. If I were in TV drama, I would be shouting " where is Jesus who fed 5000 people with five loaves of barley bread and fish which I had twenty years ago and he who helped me to love God ?" Philip, who was chosen directly by Jesus, brought his friend Nathaniel to Jesus, and Andrew, a former disciple of the John Baptist, brought his brother, Peter. But both Philip and Andrew are described as men of little faith with skepticism failing to trust Jesus. Occasionally, I have similar perception as I read the bible. I am apt to say; if I were in their shoes, I would do this or that way, and easily criticizing the disciples. The parables of talents, vineyard workers, Peter's denial seem to have irrelevant importance with my life because of my attitude. I had a tendency of justifying my self-righteous attitude.

Lets assume that Jesus is standing outside of this church asking me how he should fee the people attending today's first, second and the third service since the women's group is not here today. How should I respond ? How about you all ? I would recommend that each person needs one Big-Mac, soda and fries totaling about $5 person . That means the total cost of lunch would amount nearly $5000. I would tell him that I could order from the local MacDonald using his credit card. This response will be projecting from many normal individuals. If Andrew had produced 5 cold bagels, wouldn't we say "how far will these 5 bagels go among so many?" Would there be any one criticizing this remark as a sign of no faith? This is the focal point of today's story.

First of all, today's story depicts human beings' limitations. Philip's response with 200 dinarii and Andrew's skepticism project our scope of limitations. Their responses were just an individual's idea but showed honest and genuine nature. According to the human psychology text book, everyone wants to see only what they want but cannot look beyond their limits. Jesus wanted to hear human's limitation from both Philip and Andrew confessing that we cannot do because of our limits. This limitation separates human from Jesus and God . According to verse 6, Jesus already had in mind what he was going to do. He wanted to test both, especially Philip. After listening to their responses, He could have said that he raised the dead, transformed water into wine and healed the sick ones but did not criticize their weak faith nor did he want to replace them as his disciples. When he asked Philip, he knew in beforehand what Philip was going to do and also knew Andrew's response as well. He did not criticize them because he came to nourish people like them. He is to be our shepherd, bread, life and the light. He came to feed us. In chapter 2 of Matthew, we find a story of Jesus's birth. The wise men from east came to the king of Herod and asked where is the one who has been king of the Jews? The chapter 6 (revised version) quoting from the O.T. Micah, describes "But you, Bethlehem in the land of Judah are by no means least among the ruler of Judah. For out of you, will come a ruler who will be the feeder of my people Israel." Jesus is described here as a feeder instead of a shepherd.

Earlier, I mentioned that the first reason for Jesus asking to his disciples was to convince them human's limitation. And the second reason was to reveal who he was. He demonstrated us the exact likeness of Jesus through this miracle. Silently, without criticizing his disciples, he showed his deed of generosity, profound love and open-mindedness. Jesus wanted his disciples to believe his divine nature by witnessing his works. The third important point of this story is that if God wishes to use us, we become changed according to his intention. Perhaps the boy wondered what Jesus had in his mind. As no human can feed 5000 people, what human can have is something not much of value. Our lives are powerless and limited like the boy's lunch.

Except one little boy, all came without lunch. Meeting Jesus without preparation also reflects human's nature of both mine and yours. My possessions and reputation earned all these years, have values less than the flowers on field, and vanish like the morning fog. In December, 1998 I struggled with God. For 20 years I had been helping the choirs, church activities and other musical areas but suddenly everything was stopped. No one invited me from the opera institutions in taking parts and moreover I failed every concert audition. During this desperate time, unexpectedly, I became a full time baby sitter for our new baby who necessitated my attention from the dawn to dawn for full one year. During the year I realized that my professional skills and gifts can become worthless unless God uses them. I was angry and frustrated. I prayed tearfully for my future but God was not in hurry to respond my cries. During my prayer I realized that I was loving my profession more than my daughter, wife and my God. After repentance, twenty years of my life appeared to be worthless like the 5 loaves of bread and 2 small fish. Soon I promised to dedicate my gift for God's glory. Let me do it now! Please accept my service ! Where do you wish to apply my gift ? These were my cries, and I experienced the work of Holy Spirit. This became my beginning for serving God and since then God has been walking with me even at difficult times. Today I am standing with dried barley bread and smelly fish but the Lord is changing my life that allows me to share my possession s with others.

I have come here from NJ with barley bread and fish. I came because Jesus wishes us to witness another miracle. Only he can fulfill that. That is why he is great and is worthwhile trusting him. That is what "Good News" is about. Although we cannot transform the bread to feed 5000, by offering our bread and fish, Jesus will use our small gift for his big works. I am inadequate and limited but can be capable if Jesus walks with me. I can not do it alone. Breads were given to 5000 and left over was collected in 12 baskets by 12 disciples. I desire to work with you as the disciple did. We can give our gifts to Jesus and follow him faithfully, then someday we will see the day when 5000 will be sharing bread with Jesus. For Jesus, five loaves of barley bread and 2 fish are sufficient.