2001.10.28. Rev. Chan Young Jang

Mustard seed, hopelessly small that you want to hide;
Mustard tree, big enough that you want to hide in it.

Mark 4:30-32

I

This morning, I would like to start by introducing the recent animation film by DreamWorks, which is a competing company of Disney. I am sure many of you have seen it with your children or with your grandchildren. It is called "Shrek".

The story goes like this; in the swamp outside of a castle lived an ugly big monster called Shrek. One day all the Disney's main characters like, Snow White, Cinderella, Peter Pan, Pinocchio and more came to Shrek's place. The reason was that the evil Lord of the castle, Farquaad chased them out of the swamp and he took over that swamp. After checking out Snow White, Cinderella, and the princess Fiona, Farquaad picks Fiona as his bride to be. He thought he could become a King if he married one of these three.

When Shrek confronted Farquaad, Farquaad told Shrek that he would return the swamp to them if Shrek rescues Fiona from the Castle of Dragon, where she is a prisoner. Shrek goes to rescue Fiona. Shrek has a companion; which is a talking donkey. This donkey reminds us of the donkey in the Russian story "Stupid Ivan". Shrek and Donkey are both treated with contempt and ignored by the world. On the course of rescuing Fiona, Shrek falls in love with her. But because of his ugly and vulgar exterior, he doesn't have courage to tell her that he is in love with her.

On the other hand, Fiona is also a very interesting character. Even thought she behaves like a true lady, she is a tomboy who even knows how to fight. But she has a secret. She has a spell that she turns ugly and fat when sun goes down. Fiona has a hope that if Farquaad who wants to marry her kisses her that she will be out of the spell. Meanwhile, Shrek is suffering with his love for Fiona. Finally, on the day of the wedding, as Fiona requested, Farquaad and Fiona was getting married before the sunset. Shrek could not hold his feelings anymore and barges into the wedding, just like Dustin Hoffman in Graduation. As Shrek confesses his love to Fiona, she turns into an ugly and fat lady because the sun goes down at that moment. She fears that Shrek will be turned off by her change, but Shrek just kisses her. Then Fiona's spell comes off and she is lifted up and comes down. But when she comes down, she is still ugly and fat. Fiona and Shrek get married and live happily ever after in the peaceful swamp.

We could see it as just another animation that only targets box office success and money. But I think this movie can make us think of a few issues.

II

We are often faced with despair during our lives. We work hard but, a lot of times, we are unsure about our future. Sometime, we compare ourselves with our peers who seem to be better than us. At times, we seem so small, as small as mustard seeds compared to this big world. Maybe that's why we yearn for story like life. Even though we know it's not real, we all want to be the main characters of these stories. We all want to be out of the spell and become beautiful princesses. We all dream about posing for a picture after winning a billion dollar lotto. And all the kids' stories are happy ending with "They lived happily ever after". Especially, western stories are unrealistic. Things that cannot be done in real life happen all the time.

One thing to note in these stories is that there is no princess who is ugly with angelic heart, or a prince who is brave and righteous but short and fat. They are all tall, beautiful and handsome, with doll faces and beautiful voices. They all have kind hearts and they are all brave and righteous, on top of it they are all excellent fighters. Snow White, Mermaid, Cinderella, and the characters in Beauty and the Beast are all like that. And the messages in all these stories are the same. If you are lucky, you can be like one of them. But these stories do not appeal to people who live average lives. They are unrealistic and they often provoke people's inferiority complex. They make us believe that only selective few belong to that category of happiness.

The message of the movie "Shrek" approaches us in a different angle. It tells us that the modern spell we are all in is that we need to be better looking than others, we need to be in a higher position than others, and we need to be stronger than others. It makes us underestimate the value of our lives. Rather than discovering the beauty of our given lives and trying to give happiness to others, we pursue over night success with luck struck of a fairy tale kiss that will change the whole life. A lot of us dream fairy tale dreams.

Fiona succeeds in her love with Shrek, as she looks ugly. But she didn't become ugly, she just became her true self. True love grows on the ground of truth, where the witch's spell loses its power. This world is full of fairy tales and seductive languages to make people think and want that they want to become the lucky princes and princesses. When their dreams don't get fulfilled, they get hurt and they feel inferior. They dream about becoming the beautiful Fiona in the morning, but they realize that they are like the ugly and fat Fiona when the sun goes down. It makes them angry, desperate and sad.

III

Today's scripture is a story about Kingdom of God. If Disney or DreamWorks expressed today's world, Jesus talked about how Kingdom of God will be realized in this earth. He talked about how people will experience this Kingdom with a parable, 2000 years ago. Today's scripture is the parable of the mustard seed. Mustard seed is the smallest seed in the world. Compared to anything, it looks small and inferior. I have seen this mustard seed. The pastor of the church that I was serving when I was a student had been to the pilgrimage to the holy land. On the following Sunday of his return, he had pasted mustard seeds on each bulletin as present for all the church members. It was as small as a dust. I could hardly see it with my naked eyes. But if that seed is planted in the ground, it grows a tree bigger than other garden plants and birds of the air can perch in its shade.

Mustard seed, it is smaller than any other seeds but Lord saw the miracle of life in that small seed. Lord saw the secret of true beauty. The seed itself is so small, it is inferior and shameful but Lord tells us not to be shameful for the image of Fiona after sunset on our own mirrors. He tells us to see the beauty of Grace and feel the life and the blessings of the heaven in that image. It's not the beautiful Fiona that Farquaad fell in love with, or the beautiful Fiona that Shrek couldn't dare to reveal his love to, but the true image that God has created that we should be thankful about. God has promised us to bless us as the children of God who can be strong and beautiful.

What do you think is the value of true faith? How has your faith changed your life? I believe the biggest change would be the change of values. It must be the change of our views to see the world and also to see ourselves. If we look at it, our lives are just like the lives of mustard seeds, as smaller than other seeds and inferior and hopeless. But the Kingdom of God does not end with despair and sadness. That small mustard seed bears life and by dying under the ground, it lives with the new life of mustard tree.

A few days ago, I read an article in the Internet about a mother who helped her autistic child to run and finish a marathon. It's a story of a mother and an autistic child Hyungjin. Hyungjin developed autism when he was 4. Now he is 18, and his mother Mee Kyung Park has helped her son to finish a full course marathon in 2 hours 57 minutes and 7 seconds. As a handicapped person, he ran with 10,153 normal people and ranked 48th. The mother said in the interview with a reporter, I was just trying to find an appropriate sport for my son's handicap. Whenever he exercises, his face brightens up. One day in 1998, I brought Hyungjin to a playground for exercise. He didn't get tired after running for an hour. That's when I thought marathon might be good for him. Same year, he ran in a short marathon of 10Km and he finished. I cannot forget that moment. We have put him in a Handicap marathon before, but he was an only child among adults. It broke my heart and I cried so much. Of course it was hard for him but he was happy. Until then, we had mundane life of same daily routines. My son cannot change anything by himself. My life was restricted because of him. It was very hard for me and for my husband, who ran a sewing factory. We needed something to change our lives. The most difficult thing was that my child was thinking that he was not normal but a handicapped person. He was discouraged and giving up everything. Mocking and finger pointing from friends and neighbors were bearable but more than anything, Hyungjin needed self-confidence. He needed courage and self esteem that he can live his life like other normal people.

Hyungjin has to pause several times to say "Annyung ha se yo". After the marathon, he knocked down someone's glasses trying to get some water. But he doesn't know how to divert his attention from getting water and stop to apologize. So he just passes by the incident. The mother took him to many hospitals to correct his language skills and tried to teach skills to alternate situations. But he lacks ability to learn by imitation. They started to give up hope that he might get better. The whole family was driven to despair.

The mother continues her story, At first, I taught him how to jump rope, how to ride a bicycle, and how to roller-skate. I took him to a mountain everyday. I purposely made the backpack heavy, because if he was physically tired, he slept better and did less strange things. He didn't like to come along in the beginning. He is very stubborn and obsessive. But I drove him to exercise. Some people told me I was too hard on him but how could they have known what I was going through worrying about his future? Some even said I might be a stepmother. Fortunately, he is getting better. Now, he can do his daily routines by himself. He even goes to school by himself. When Hyungjin was little, I hit him and I cried with him. I had no life and I was in depression. I suffered a stomach disease for a long time.

Once, my second child had invited other children over for his birthday party. I prepared a nice table with food but no one came, because he had an autistic brother. One child said, "My mom told me not to play with a mental patient". When I heard that, I cried inside and promised myself that I am going to raise him really well. I wanted to show that even his life was a God given one. I have no idea how much longer I have to take care of him. But through him, I want to give hope to the mothers who have the same pain as I do. After finishing the marathon, Hyungjin seemed satisfied. He was surprised at himself. I often think about what life is. Are we living because we are breathing? I am sure there is a meaning for Hyungjin's life. I want to find that for him. Others might laugh at me but I am even thinking about having him challenge the Triathlon. Of course the reality is very grim. When I decided that I was going to do everything to give him hope, I gave up everything. I even gave up being a wife. It is very unhappy living like this for all my life. I cannot stand thinking this way but I try to remember there are others who are in worse situations. Compared to them, we are happy. And I believe that Hyungjin will be able to live a better life.

The reporter ends this article saying; In my eyes, Hyungjin seemed a little uncomfortable, but he didn't seem unhappy

IV

The message of "Shrek" is that Princess Fiona doesn't turn ugly at sunset but she symbolizes the two sides modern public. One is that we are hung up with an obsession that we have to look beautiful in front of others when the sun is up, even though we are not beautiful in the sense of public norm. The other is that we try to hide our weaknesses and shortcomings. If we are all in the spell of having to be more beautiful than others, know more than others, have more than others, be in a higher position than others, and be stronger than others, what is the message that our Lord is giving us today? It is, even though we are as small and meaningless as mustard seeds, if we know the power of life in those seeds, if we know the miracle of life when those seeds fall on the ground and grow trees, we can understand and realize love of God.

That's right, mustard seed is like our inferiority complex and our despair that we want to hide. But Lord tells us that if that mustard seed falls on the ground, it will grow the tree abundant enough to hold many, so that birds of the air can perch in its shade. Mustard seed is smaller than any other seeds on the earth, it is as small as dust, but it is not unhappy.

Who can say he or she is happier than Hyungjin? Who can say Hyungjin is unhappy?

Lord is telling us that true happiness comes from a heart that accepts and loves oneself as it is, as it might be as small as mustard seed, and be true to them. He is telling this to people today who confuse discomfort with unhappiness, who think that they will be happy if they get rid of that discomfort.

When we stand before God and show our small but true selves, even though we want to hide our shortcomings and weaknesses, He will not blame us for being small, but through us, he will build his Kingdom.

Lord loves you as you are, as a small mustard seed. This is how true Christians should live to realize the Kingdom of God.